Frustrated Dad

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2009
Frustrated Dad
2943
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 3:28am
I really need some opinions on my situation. I am a 30 year old dad with 3 children. I work 10-12 hrs a day 5 days a week and every other Saturday. I am pretty much a homebody, the only time I really go out is on Sundays during football season to watch the games. I do what i need to in order to support my wife and kids. But I am at wits end with my wife and need some help.
My wifes day is as follows. She wakes up any where from 10am - noon (which means 2 of our children (11 and 7) wake up feed themselves and walk to school) at which point she will got downstairs to the kitchen to light a cigarette and call her sister or best friend. During the 1/2hr to an hour that she is on the phone she will make (for herself)and drink about 3 cups of coffee. At around noon when the baby wakes up (11 months) she'll feed him change his diaper and set him on the floor and mostly ignore him as she calls her mother. Usually around 12:30 she'll head out to do errands leaving me with the baby until 1:30 when she'll get home so I can rush out to work where I'm 20 minutes away from and need to be in by 2.
Heres the thing i have no problem being the sole financial gainer in the house hold but I expect certain things. I guess thats the reason for this post to find out if my expectation are to lofty. I expect her to get up in the morning with the children make them breakfast help them pick out cloths make sure they have their homework and send them off to school( I would even help in the morning but i got sick of waking up in the morning while shes still sleeping when i was the one at work last night). I would like breakfast every once in a while made when i wake up i don't expect it but it would be nice. I would like the baby up before 11am I just don't think he should be sleeping that long. i expect laundry the be cleaned, folded and put away! The laundry in our house gets washed and dried them it usually ends up on the dining room table for half the day then it makes its way over to the living room where its folded and left on the couch for a day or two (is it to much to ask to have it put away). I expect the house clean! Cleaning the kitchen for her consist of of doing the dishes and mopping the floor! Cabinets, frig, counters, stove maybe once a month. Cleaning the dinning room consist of her wiping the table and vacuuming one area of the carpet. Bathroom, living room are cleaned in the same manner and the children's room and bedroom upstairs can go months without cleaning! I expect lunch made before i got to work! No breakfast and lunch not even a packed lunch/diner!I expect a home cooked diner for my children! Not pizza, macaroni or canned spaghetti!!! Is this to much to ask? i expect diner when I get home, real food not something she sends me on yoville or farmtown, which she's on until 2am!! DO I EXPECT TO MUCH? I thought these where to things a stay at home mom did? Are my expectations to old school? I need answers I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and I don't know how much longer I can last.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 5:52pm

again, for lots and lots of missing homework -- different strokes. when ds was in 6th grade, he had an english teacher that let him get away with not completing the class and homework for 1 FULL novel as well as for 1/2 of the NEXT book!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 5:59pm

I disagree with you,

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 6:12pm

<>

If you can ensure that a child will choose to make themselves a healthy breakfast every morning without being near them (or even knowing that they're having breakfast), then I'm sure you can find a way to employ a similar strategy for ensuring safe sex. ;-)














Edited 3/9/2010 9:54 pm ET by finally.me




iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 6:21pm
I disagree. No amount of education can prevent a teen from engaging in unsafe sexual behavior, but such is a decision with the sufficient education is not a mistake - it's a bad conscious decision.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 6:22pm

Yes, they helped me. They helped me a LOT. But as I've said before, there is a difference between helping and bailing out.

My parents would help me (for example, there was a firm routine, and reminders, reminders, reminders). But they did not bail me out (for example, they did not bring my work to the school if I left it at home).















iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 6:25pm
There may come a time when she will not allow you to be so hands on....around fifteen, sixteen years old she may resent being treated like a "little kid" and not be so willing to share her work with you. And certainly if she goes off to college, you cannot organize her homework for her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 6:26pm

Iam

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 6:27pm
I tired to answer this in another post when i get the chance i will see if ii can find what i took as prevention iyo means STOP, in this monster thread!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 6:34pm

i'm sure she'll figure out what supports her dd will let her help with, where she can intervene or not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2010
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 6:41pm

I am going to say probably on and off starting in November. We had our meeting in December.

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