Frustrated Dad

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2009
Frustrated Dad
2943
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 3:28am
I really need some opinions on my situation. I am a 30 year old dad with 3 children. I work 10-12 hrs a day 5 days a week and every other Saturday. I am pretty much a homebody, the only time I really go out is on Sundays during football season to watch the games. I do what i need to in order to support my wife and kids. But I am at wits end with my wife and need some help.
My wifes day is as follows. She wakes up any where from 10am - noon (which means 2 of our children (11 and 7) wake up feed themselves and walk to school) at which point she will got downstairs to the kitchen to light a cigarette and call her sister or best friend. During the 1/2hr to an hour that she is on the phone she will make (for herself)and drink about 3 cups of coffee. At around noon when the baby wakes up (11 months) she'll feed him change his diaper and set him on the floor and mostly ignore him as she calls her mother. Usually around 12:30 she'll head out to do errands leaving me with the baby until 1:30 when she'll get home so I can rush out to work where I'm 20 minutes away from and need to be in by 2.
Heres the thing i have no problem being the sole financial gainer in the house hold but I expect certain things. I guess thats the reason for this post to find out if my expectation are to lofty. I expect her to get up in the morning with the children make them breakfast help them pick out cloths make sure they have their homework and send them off to school( I would even help in the morning but i got sick of waking up in the morning while shes still sleeping when i was the one at work last night). I would like breakfast every once in a while made when i wake up i don't expect it but it would be nice. I would like the baby up before 11am I just don't think he should be sleeping that long. i expect laundry the be cleaned, folded and put away! The laundry in our house gets washed and dried them it usually ends up on the dining room table for half the day then it makes its way over to the living room where its folded and left on the couch for a day or two (is it to much to ask to have it put away). I expect the house clean! Cleaning the kitchen for her consist of of doing the dishes and mopping the floor! Cabinets, frig, counters, stove maybe once a month. Cleaning the dinning room consist of her wiping the table and vacuuming one area of the carpet. Bathroom, living room are cleaned in the same manner and the children's room and bedroom upstairs can go months without cleaning! I expect lunch made before i got to work! No breakfast and lunch not even a packed lunch/diner!I expect a home cooked diner for my children! Not pizza, macaroni or canned spaghetti!!! Is this to much to ask? i expect diner when I get home, real food not something she sends me on yoville or farmtown, which she's on until 2am!! DO I EXPECT TO MUCH? I thought these where to things a stay at home mom did? Are my expectations to old school? I need answers I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and I don't know how much longer I can last.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2010
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 6:42pm
Aww...I am sure there are some type of bands out there for him. My dd plays the violin and sings.
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 6:44pm

I don't recall anyone, including me, saying they didn't see their kids off to school in the mornings.

A parent can supervise kids, or provide supervision for them, without requiring "constant supervision every waking hour." There are many levels of supervision besides this "constant supervision every waking hour" that you are so fixated on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2010
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 6:45pm

Yes that is unique because my family and friends have not raised or lived with a child or adult with ADD or ADHD.


You might not think that someone needs to understand to provide support but it is quite obvious from some of these posts that

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2010
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 6:47pm
There were no problems because she did not have the opportunity to do so as she had one main teacher and she/he only had 20-25 students in a class, unlike the 100 most of the middle school teachers have now and a shorter amount of time to have class.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2010
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 6:49pm

I can imagine :0


You should see my dd's room :0


I do "help" her clean her room because it is REALLY bad. It scares me to think what kind of home she will live in when she gets older if she has the same cleaning habits :0 Hopefully she will either grow out of being a horrible slob or she will live with a clean freak-lol!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2010
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 6:50pm
Did you ever have any of the problems mentioned here? Can you give some advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 6:51pm
I disagree,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2010
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 6:54pm
Sorry to hear that. Didn't you have any teacher conferences to make you aware of your child's progress?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2010
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 6:58pm
Of course but not all people understand when they don't go through things on a daily basis. Just some of the posts on this thread will show you that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2010
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 7:01pm
Personally, I do not think 6th graders are ready to go to middle school. I went to "junior high" in 7/8 grade. By then we were ready for that. 10/11/12 yr. olds could have a "phase-in", like you spoke of what your son's school does.

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