Frustrated Dad

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2009
Frustrated Dad
2943
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 3:28am
I really need some opinions on my situation. I am a 30 year old dad with 3 children. I work 10-12 hrs a day 5 days a week and every other Saturday. I am pretty much a homebody, the only time I really go out is on Sundays during football season to watch the games. I do what i need to in order to support my wife and kids. But I am at wits end with my wife and need some help.
My wifes day is as follows. She wakes up any where from 10am - noon (which means 2 of our children (11 and 7) wake up feed themselves and walk to school) at which point she will got downstairs to the kitchen to light a cigarette and call her sister or best friend. During the 1/2hr to an hour that she is on the phone she will make (for herself)and drink about 3 cups of coffee. At around noon when the baby wakes up (11 months) she'll feed him change his diaper and set him on the floor and mostly ignore him as she calls her mother. Usually around 12:30 she'll head out to do errands leaving me with the baby until 1:30 when she'll get home so I can rush out to work where I'm 20 minutes away from and need to be in by 2.
Heres the thing i have no problem being the sole financial gainer in the house hold but I expect certain things. I guess thats the reason for this post to find out if my expectation are to lofty. I expect her to get up in the morning with the children make them breakfast help them pick out cloths make sure they have their homework and send them off to school( I would even help in the morning but i got sick of waking up in the morning while shes still sleeping when i was the one at work last night). I would like breakfast every once in a while made when i wake up i don't expect it but it would be nice. I would like the baby up before 11am I just don't think he should be sleeping that long. i expect laundry the be cleaned, folded and put away! The laundry in our house gets washed and dried them it usually ends up on the dining room table for half the day then it makes its way over to the living room where its folded and left on the couch for a day or two (is it to much to ask to have it put away). I expect the house clean! Cleaning the kitchen for her consist of of doing the dishes and mopping the floor! Cabinets, frig, counters, stove maybe once a month. Cleaning the dinning room consist of her wiping the table and vacuuming one area of the carpet. Bathroom, living room are cleaned in the same manner and the children's room and bedroom upstairs can go months without cleaning! I expect lunch made before i got to work! No breakfast and lunch not even a packed lunch/diner!I expect a home cooked diner for my children! Not pizza, macaroni or canned spaghetti!!! Is this to much to ask? i expect diner when I get home, real food not something she sends me on yoville or farmtown, which she's on until 2am!! DO I EXPECT TO MUCH? I thought these where to things a stay at home mom did? Are my expectations to old school? I need answers I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and I don't know how much longer I can last.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 10:19pm

<>

Yeah, I have to admit that it takes a toll on the self-esteem to be a perpetual screw-up. You can only disappoint yourself and others so many times before you just want to stop trying to succeed.















iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 10:37pm

6th grade has been middle school here for many years also. We do a-lot of the same things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 11:13pm

I am glad that I have found others on this thread who HAVE been through the same things I have been through and am going through because posts like yours is not supportive at all and what we are NOT looking for.


My apologies then, I didn't realize that you were looking for support.


I guess we're done.

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Ducky

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 11:15pm
No actually, that was clear in your posts, and bord's...but not summer's.

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 11:17pm

the problem with that strategy for many children would be that the failure would not be a "learning experience" but yet another nail in their low self-esteem.

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 11:18pm
I guess we'll have to agree to disagree then. <>

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Ducky

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 11:19pm
cute.

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Ducky

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 11:29pm

I have two kids in middle school, and we've been in two districts...they've been only slightly different.


The schools are 6-8th grade.

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 1:37am

I think I shared the story about giving myself a black eye with the car door one time b/c dd forgot her sneakers for practice and I had to turn around and go home. I was in such a rush so she wouldn't be too late for practice that I whacked myself in the eye with the car door. Her coach took pity on me and didn't make dd run the extra laps for being late that day!

I'm officially the meanest Mom ever, because I have to tell you, if it was me with the black eye and the coach let DD off the hook for extra laps, I'd lodge a complaint with him!!! LOL I got a black eye because of her and you're letting HER off??? LOL She would SO be running laps!

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Kitty

"I would make a long list, but that would take too much time and I have stuff to do like taking over the world and cooking cheese spaghetti."

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Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 1:48am

I never said I did this.

Since my post (#1530) that you quoted from was directed to sweeetsummerdays, a name that is spelled quite differently from patrongirl, whether or not you said it is completely irrelevant.

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Kitty

"I would make a long list, but that would take too much time and I have stuff to do like taking over the world and cooking cheese spaghetti."

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Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

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