Frustrated Dad

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2009
Frustrated Dad
2943
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 3:28am
I really need some opinions on my situation. I am a 30 year old dad with 3 children. I work 10-12 hrs a day 5 days a week and every other Saturday. I am pretty much a homebody, the only time I really go out is on Sundays during football season to watch the games. I do what i need to in order to support my wife and kids. But I am at wits end with my wife and need some help.
My wifes day is as follows. She wakes up any where from 10am - noon (which means 2 of our children (11 and 7) wake up feed themselves and walk to school) at which point she will got downstairs to the kitchen to light a cigarette and call her sister or best friend. During the 1/2hr to an hour that she is on the phone she will make (for herself)and drink about 3 cups of coffee. At around noon when the baby wakes up (11 months) she'll feed him change his diaper and set him on the floor and mostly ignore him as she calls her mother. Usually around 12:30 she'll head out to do errands leaving me with the baby until 1:30 when she'll get home so I can rush out to work where I'm 20 minutes away from and need to be in by 2.
Heres the thing i have no problem being the sole financial gainer in the house hold but I expect certain things. I guess thats the reason for this post to find out if my expectation are to lofty. I expect her to get up in the morning with the children make them breakfast help them pick out cloths make sure they have their homework and send them off to school( I would even help in the morning but i got sick of waking up in the morning while shes still sleeping when i was the one at work last night). I would like breakfast every once in a while made when i wake up i don't expect it but it would be nice. I would like the baby up before 11am I just don't think he should be sleeping that long. i expect laundry the be cleaned, folded and put away! The laundry in our house gets washed and dried them it usually ends up on the dining room table for half the day then it makes its way over to the living room where its folded and left on the couch for a day or two (is it to much to ask to have it put away). I expect the house clean! Cleaning the kitchen for her consist of of doing the dishes and mopping the floor! Cabinets, frig, counters, stove maybe once a month. Cleaning the dinning room consist of her wiping the table and vacuuming one area of the carpet. Bathroom, living room are cleaned in the same manner and the children's room and bedroom upstairs can go months without cleaning! I expect lunch made before i got to work! No breakfast and lunch not even a packed lunch/diner!I expect a home cooked diner for my children! Not pizza, macaroni or canned spaghetti!!! Is this to much to ask? i expect diner when I get home, real food not something she sends me on yoville or farmtown, which she's on until 2am!! DO I EXPECT TO MUCH? I thought these where to things a stay at home mom did? Are my expectations to old school? I need answers I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and I don't know how much longer I can last.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 3:36pm

<>

Oh yeah, I definitely know what you mean, LOL. I can't keep this boy out of anything, it seems. He was climbing over the baby gates at 15 months. If there is anything he can't reach, he will grab a chair or box or something else to stand on quick as a flash. My DH was taking care of him a few months ago while I was out, and DS got into the medicine cabinet - the medicine cabinet is located in the uppermost corner in our kitchen. We are now Tot Lock Central, LOL. I'm not about to let him learn the hard way that you shouldn't open and eat a bottle of medication.















iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 3:36pm
Lol, I still do that sometimes.

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Ducky

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 3:37pm
FTR, yes, I went back to bed. Not always to sleep-sleep, but to snooze at least. I was, and am, routinely up till 1-2 AM, yet I need quite a lot of sleep to function. There was truly nothing I could contribute by being up with her anyway, except giving her an excuse to have a hissy-fit. When she still needed to be walked to school (IMO, obviously), it was then her job to come get me when she was ready.

~o~ ...^^^... ~o~

America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.

Oscar Wilde

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 3:39pm

wrong.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 3:41pm

Perhaps this is where all of the *confusion* has come from.


I do not believe in sink or swim in the sense you present it.


I get the impression that those who are debating against the idea of letting kids make mistakes or *fail*, think that those of us who are

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Ducky

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 3:42pm
Gosh, I asked numerous times whether you would let a 2-yr-old burn his hand on a hot stove, and you refused to answer. You're still refusing to answer, in fact.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 3:43pm

There wasn't

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 3:43pm

Could you please provide me with the name of a college or university that expects that each of its professors would be able to evaluate the needs of students with wide varieties of learning disabilities and differences and then to individually make suitable accommodations for each student?

Would this not entail a lot of work on the student's part, doing this over and over again every semester when he or she gets new classes? Would most student prefer NOT to have to discuss the details of their conditions over and over again with relative strangers?

And finally, this hypothetical college or university, could you please let me know how it stays afloat, financially? Finances are a big deal in public education nowadays, so a university that is able to waste this amount of money and time doing redundant duties must have some secrets to share.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 3:45pm

<kids, and have in fact been refusing to answer my question about whether you would let a 2-yr-old burn his hand on a hot stove.>>


Context of the comments and really, next time just ask what I meant.

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 3:45pm
Yes, could be.

~o~ ...^^^... ~o~

America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.

Oscar Wilde

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