Frustrated Dad

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2009
Frustrated Dad
2943
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 3:28am
I really need some opinions on my situation. I am a 30 year old dad with 3 children. I work 10-12 hrs a day 5 days a week and every other Saturday. I am pretty much a homebody, the only time I really go out is on Sundays during football season to watch the games. I do what i need to in order to support my wife and kids. But I am at wits end with my wife and need some help.
My wifes day is as follows. She wakes up any where from 10am - noon (which means 2 of our children (11 and 7) wake up feed themselves and walk to school) at which point she will got downstairs to the kitchen to light a cigarette and call her sister or best friend. During the 1/2hr to an hour that she is on the phone she will make (for herself)and drink about 3 cups of coffee. At around noon when the baby wakes up (11 months) she'll feed him change his diaper and set him on the floor and mostly ignore him as she calls her mother. Usually around 12:30 she'll head out to do errands leaving me with the baby until 1:30 when she'll get home so I can rush out to work where I'm 20 minutes away from and need to be in by 2.
Heres the thing i have no problem being the sole financial gainer in the house hold but I expect certain things. I guess thats the reason for this post to find out if my expectation are to lofty. I expect her to get up in the morning with the children make them breakfast help them pick out cloths make sure they have their homework and send them off to school( I would even help in the morning but i got sick of waking up in the morning while shes still sleeping when i was the one at work last night). I would like breakfast every once in a while made when i wake up i don't expect it but it would be nice. I would like the baby up before 11am I just don't think he should be sleeping that long. i expect laundry the be cleaned, folded and put away! The laundry in our house gets washed and dried them it usually ends up on the dining room table for half the day then it makes its way over to the living room where its folded and left on the couch for a day or two (is it to much to ask to have it put away). I expect the house clean! Cleaning the kitchen for her consist of of doing the dishes and mopping the floor! Cabinets, frig, counters, stove maybe once a month. Cleaning the dinning room consist of her wiping the table and vacuuming one area of the carpet. Bathroom, living room are cleaned in the same manner and the children's room and bedroom upstairs can go months without cleaning! I expect lunch made before i got to work! No breakfast and lunch not even a packed lunch/diner!I expect a home cooked diner for my children! Not pizza, macaroni or canned spaghetti!!! Is this to much to ask? i expect diner when I get home, real food not something she sends me on yoville or farmtown, which she's on until 2am!! DO I EXPECT TO MUCH? I thought these where to things a stay at home mom did? Are my expectations to old school? I need answers I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and I don't know how much longer I can last.

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Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 5:09pm

Kids in the op were 7 and 11. My post addressed kids in that age range not just 7-yr-olds.

Yes, if a parent is home, then I think there is at least minimal supervision going on.




Edited 3/10/2010 5:13 pm ET by mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 5:11pm

My kids have had a long run understanding that if things are left out in the main living areas for an extended period of time, that mom has the right, and might exercise that right, to throw them in the garbage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 5:11pm
The professors will be given a letter stating what accommodations they need to make for the student, but I have never known a professor to be given a copy of the student's actual IEP.














iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 5:13pm
Oh, I wasn't talking about the mess, that I believe.

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 5:13pm
I can almost guarantee that to provide a professor a copy of the actual, full IEP would be in violation of privacy/confidentiality guidelines.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 5:14pm
Yes, most colleges have that in place. They bring in what they had in high school to the disability services office, the EXPERTS in that office determine what will help the students succeed, and then when the kid registers in classes, the professors are told what accommodations are in place. Professors do not have access to the actual disability paperwork; the Federal Education Rights and Privacy Act restricts access to those papers to those who have both the RIGHT to know, and the NEED to know. I don't have the NEED to know what a student's actual condition is, although many do tell me. All I get told is that the student has a verified medical or psychological condition requiring "X" accommodations, and it is my job to make sure that they are implemented.
Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 5:15pm
LOL, I was thinking the same thing. I just tried to reorganize a part of our closet. I have a tiny stack of Ts and underwear, dh, OTOH, must have a stack of 20-30 henleys and an equal number of short-sleeved Ts, as well as a giant pile of oxford shirts. What is up with that?

~o~ ...^^^... ~o~

America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.

Oscar Wilde

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 5:16pm
FERPA actually prohibits an individual professor from seeing an IEP unless the student chooses to share it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 5:18pm

Oh no, it is quite serious. Check out a picture of my dining room from a couple of years ago (my home does NOT look like this anymore, FYI):



Photobucket















iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 5:18pm

My older kids' rooms, I *help* them with a deep clean about twice a year.

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Ducky

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