Frustrated Dad

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2009
Frustrated Dad
2943
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 3:28am
I really need some opinions on my situation. I am a 30 year old dad with 3 children. I work 10-12 hrs a day 5 days a week and every other Saturday. I am pretty much a homebody, the only time I really go out is on Sundays during football season to watch the games. I do what i need to in order to support my wife and kids. But I am at wits end with my wife and need some help.
My wifes day is as follows. She wakes up any where from 10am - noon (which means 2 of our children (11 and 7) wake up feed themselves and walk to school) at which point she will got downstairs to the kitchen to light a cigarette and call her sister or best friend. During the 1/2hr to an hour that she is on the phone she will make (for herself)and drink about 3 cups of coffee. At around noon when the baby wakes up (11 months) she'll feed him change his diaper and set him on the floor and mostly ignore him as she calls her mother. Usually around 12:30 she'll head out to do errands leaving me with the baby until 1:30 when she'll get home so I can rush out to work where I'm 20 minutes away from and need to be in by 2.
Heres the thing i have no problem being the sole financial gainer in the house hold but I expect certain things. I guess thats the reason for this post to find out if my expectation are to lofty. I expect her to get up in the morning with the children make them breakfast help them pick out cloths make sure they have their homework and send them off to school( I would even help in the morning but i got sick of waking up in the morning while shes still sleeping when i was the one at work last night). I would like breakfast every once in a while made when i wake up i don't expect it but it would be nice. I would like the baby up before 11am I just don't think he should be sleeping that long. i expect laundry the be cleaned, folded and put away! The laundry in our house gets washed and dried them it usually ends up on the dining room table for half the day then it makes its way over to the living room where its folded and left on the couch for a day or two (is it to much to ask to have it put away). I expect the house clean! Cleaning the kitchen for her consist of of doing the dishes and mopping the floor! Cabinets, frig, counters, stove maybe once a month. Cleaning the dinning room consist of her wiping the table and vacuuming one area of the carpet. Bathroom, living room are cleaned in the same manner and the children's room and bedroom upstairs can go months without cleaning! I expect lunch made before i got to work! No breakfast and lunch not even a packed lunch/diner!I expect a home cooked diner for my children! Not pizza, macaroni or canned spaghetti!!! Is this to much to ask? i expect diner when I get home, real food not something she sends me on yoville or farmtown, which she's on until 2am!! DO I EXPECT TO MUCH? I thought these where to things a stay at home mom did? Are my expectations to old school? I need answers I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and I don't know how much longer I can last.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 6:06pm

What is that you want them to do?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 6:08pm

That's not what you said, the parents were home.


So back up again to my previous post and answer the questions that still haven't been answered.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 6:11pm

Get rid of some of her stuff!

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 6:13pm

Okay so there are

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2010
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 6:14pm

No, because it is simply not true. She is given more than enough attention and she will tell you herself. She DEFINATELY is disciplined. She loses priveledges all the time.


The problem is THEIR idea of a "normal" child is very different than the ADHD child. They think because the "normal" child will usually listen to you once or twice and usually "get" it, my ADHD child does not, year after year after year.

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 6:18pm

Yes, I know, but I'm sure I've said it in other posts in this thread. In any case, what difference does it make? I don't believe parents are supervising when they're asleep.

I have no idea what question you think I haven't answered. I've done my best. You're going to have to ask a direct question.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2010
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 6:19pm

I do let her organize her room and because it is just easier to throw it in a pile than put it away, she doesn't know which is clean or dirty after a few days. She is not working with a ton of clothes that she can't keep track of. She even "lost" her bras last week. Why? Because instead of taking the 2 bras (she only has 2) from the laundry that was clean and putting them in her underwear/sock drawer, she threw them someplace else. She found them but I can give her 2 outfits and she would STILL throw them someplace else but where they belong.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2010
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 6:21pm

We are supposed to be debating the subject NOT the posters.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 6:21pm
Yeah, just give her the basics,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2010
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 6:23pm
Ugghh-if it is anything like my dd's room, I can imagine-lol!! I swear she will have her house condemned if she continues to live like she does. I find that she doesn't "see" alot of things either. Not sure if that is the focusing problem because I will go in her room after she said she has cleaned it and it looks like she touched nothing.

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