Frustrated Dad

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2009
Frustrated Dad
2943
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 3:28am
I really need some opinions on my situation. I am a 30 year old dad with 3 children. I work 10-12 hrs a day 5 days a week and every other Saturday. I am pretty much a homebody, the only time I really go out is on Sundays during football season to watch the games. I do what i need to in order to support my wife and kids. But I am at wits end with my wife and need some help.
My wifes day is as follows. She wakes up any where from 10am - noon (which means 2 of our children (11 and 7) wake up feed themselves and walk to school) at which point she will got downstairs to the kitchen to light a cigarette and call her sister or best friend. During the 1/2hr to an hour that she is on the phone she will make (for herself)and drink about 3 cups of coffee. At around noon when the baby wakes up (11 months) she'll feed him change his diaper and set him on the floor and mostly ignore him as she calls her mother. Usually around 12:30 she'll head out to do errands leaving me with the baby until 1:30 when she'll get home so I can rush out to work where I'm 20 minutes away from and need to be in by 2.
Heres the thing i have no problem being the sole financial gainer in the house hold but I expect certain things. I guess thats the reason for this post to find out if my expectation are to lofty. I expect her to get up in the morning with the children make them breakfast help them pick out cloths make sure they have their homework and send them off to school( I would even help in the morning but i got sick of waking up in the morning while shes still sleeping when i was the one at work last night). I would like breakfast every once in a while made when i wake up i don't expect it but it would be nice. I would like the baby up before 11am I just don't think he should be sleeping that long. i expect laundry the be cleaned, folded and put away! The laundry in our house gets washed and dried them it usually ends up on the dining room table for half the day then it makes its way over to the living room where its folded and left on the couch for a day or two (is it to much to ask to have it put away). I expect the house clean! Cleaning the kitchen for her consist of of doing the dishes and mopping the floor! Cabinets, frig, counters, stove maybe once a month. Cleaning the dinning room consist of her wiping the table and vacuuming one area of the carpet. Bathroom, living room are cleaned in the same manner and the children's room and bedroom upstairs can go months without cleaning! I expect lunch made before i got to work! No breakfast and lunch not even a packed lunch/diner!I expect a home cooked diner for my children! Not pizza, macaroni or canned spaghetti!!! Is this to much to ask? i expect diner when I get home, real food not something she sends me on yoville or farmtown, which she's on until 2am!! DO I EXPECT TO MUCH? I thought these where to things a stay at home mom did? Are my expectations to old school? I need answers I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and I don't know how much longer I can last.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2010
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 6:24pm
I'm sorry but you are not being very nice today.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2010
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 6:25pm

In the beginning they are trying but after the 100th time of telling them that, that doesn't work and getting the responses I get, it is not considered support.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 6:25pm

oh please I've been told here on this board I'm a bad mom b/c I didn't quintuple check one of Liza's school deadlines...I've been told on this board i"m a bad mom b/c I got divorced. I've been told on this board (in fairly nasty language) I'm a bad mom b/c I'm gay and that' I hate men.

you know what I did? I SUCKED IT UP AND IGNORED IT... because it wasn't true.

and please by all means go on ignoring me... I was actually on your side there as was the poster from Greece...you know the one someone targeted with a made up greek screen name in order to slam the country she lives in... that one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2010
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 6:27pm
lol!! Then you don't know my dd. She would go in her pj's then--lol!! Some kids just do NOT care and will NOT try and change things. I think new day explained that in a "few" posts back.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 6:28pm
one thing that worked when I took Liza to counseling was to jointly come up with a system with the counselor we agreed on for our problem area (in this case our morning routine) and she wrote it out in her own handwriting and we both signed it...somehow it coming from her in her handwriting sunk in .. it's on our fridge and the morning hasn't been a problem since
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 6:29pm

my eyes can't roll far enough back in my head for the irony of this coming from you...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 6:30pm

Why not let her go in her PJ's then?

********
Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2010
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 6:39pm
I believe everything has a "home" and should be put BACK in that "home". It just makes it easier to find that object again when you go to look.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2010
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 6:40pm
Yes, she actually told me the name of the show when I started explaining it to her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2010
In reply to: daddy_gil
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 6:47pm

Well I just told a story about "losing" her two, only, bras. This is a perfect example. Same thing with her hair clips. She does not have many of them, they are kept in a jar. The jar is in

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