Frustrated Dad

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2009
Frustrated Dad
2943
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 3:28am
I really need some opinions on my situation. I am a 30 year old dad with 3 children. I work 10-12 hrs a day 5 days a week and every other Saturday. I am pretty much a homebody, the only time I really go out is on Sundays during football season to watch the games. I do what i need to in order to support my wife and kids. But I am at wits end with my wife and need some help.
My wifes day is as follows. She wakes up any where from 10am - noon (which means 2 of our children (11 and 7) wake up feed themselves and walk to school) at which point she will got downstairs to the kitchen to light a cigarette and call her sister or best friend. During the 1/2hr to an hour that she is on the phone she will make (for herself)and drink about 3 cups of coffee. At around noon when the baby wakes up (11 months) she'll feed him change his diaper and set him on the floor and mostly ignore him as she calls her mother. Usually around 12:30 she'll head out to do errands leaving me with the baby until 1:30 when she'll get home so I can rush out to work where I'm 20 minutes away from and need to be in by 2.
Heres the thing i have no problem being the sole financial gainer in the house hold but I expect certain things. I guess thats the reason for this post to find out if my expectation are to lofty. I expect her to get up in the morning with the children make them breakfast help them pick out cloths make sure they have their homework and send them off to school( I would even help in the morning but i got sick of waking up in the morning while shes still sleeping when i was the one at work last night). I would like breakfast every once in a while made when i wake up i don't expect it but it would be nice. I would like the baby up before 11am I just don't think he should be sleeping that long. i expect laundry the be cleaned, folded and put away! The laundry in our house gets washed and dried them it usually ends up on the dining room table for half the day then it makes its way over to the living room where its folded and left on the couch for a day or two (is it to much to ask to have it put away). I expect the house clean! Cleaning the kitchen for her consist of of doing the dishes and mopping the floor! Cabinets, frig, counters, stove maybe once a month. Cleaning the dinning room consist of her wiping the table and vacuuming one area of the carpet. Bathroom, living room are cleaned in the same manner and the children's room and bedroom upstairs can go months without cleaning! I expect lunch made before i got to work! No breakfast and lunch not even a packed lunch/diner!I expect a home cooked diner for my children! Not pizza, macaroni or canned spaghetti!!! Is this to much to ask? i expect diner when I get home, real food not something she sends me on yoville or farmtown, which she's on until 2am!! DO I EXPECT TO MUCH? I thought these where to things a stay at home mom did? Are my expectations to old school? I need answers I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and I don't know how much longer I can last.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 10:20am

With our large family, I only do full loads, but that means several loads, every couple of days, lol.

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 11:02am

We have a divided/sorting hamper in our room. We sort/divide as we undress.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 11:14am

LOL, obsessed with an orderly refrigerator.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 11:57am
Having a 16 month old and a 3 1/2 year old, I can't understand the argument that it's impossible for a 2 year old to burn themselves on a burner on the stove. Maybe my 3 1/2 year old is just a little monkey, but she was quite capable of climbing onto the kitchen countertop at 2. Her brother's already quite capable of scooting a chair over to where ever he wants, including the stove-- if we don't watch him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:07pm
Professors are required to provide the accommodations determined by the university's office of disability services. Some professors balk, but bottom line is, they get into big trouble if they don't comply. If a random student (not registered with the office of disability services) asks me for accommodation for one reason or another, I can say yes or no.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:09pm

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PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:11pm

My "normal" oldest child doesn't get it once or twice either, there are some things that is repeated

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:11pm
I've always been really bad about not putting stuff away when I'm done with it. Having two small children and a dog definitely cured me of that! It's amazing what they can do to a knitting project or book if left out in the open.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:13pm

You have four kids right? You dont have to do laundry

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:15pm
That's interesting. If a random student asks me for an accommodation, with or without proof, I am supposed to refer that student to the Office of Disability Services and they supply me with a list of required accommodations.

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