Frustrated Dad

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2009
Frustrated Dad
2943
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 3:28am
I really need some opinions on my situation. I am a 30 year old dad with 3 children. I work 10-12 hrs a day 5 days a week and every other Saturday. I am pretty much a homebody, the only time I really go out is on Sundays during football season to watch the games. I do what i need to in order to support my wife and kids. But I am at wits end with my wife and need some help.
My wifes day is as follows. She wakes up any where from 10am - noon (which means 2 of our children (11 and 7) wake up feed themselves and walk to school) at which point she will got downstairs to the kitchen to light a cigarette and call her sister or best friend. During the 1/2hr to an hour that she is on the phone she will make (for herself)and drink about 3 cups of coffee. At around noon when the baby wakes up (11 months) she'll feed him change his diaper and set him on the floor and mostly ignore him as she calls her mother. Usually around 12:30 she'll head out to do errands leaving me with the baby until 1:30 when she'll get home so I can rush out to work where I'm 20 minutes away from and need to be in by 2.
Heres the thing i have no problem being the sole financial gainer in the house hold but I expect certain things. I guess thats the reason for this post to find out if my expectation are to lofty. I expect her to get up in the morning with the children make them breakfast help them pick out cloths make sure they have their homework and send them off to school( I would even help in the morning but i got sick of waking up in the morning while shes still sleeping when i was the one at work last night). I would like breakfast every once in a while made when i wake up i don't expect it but it would be nice. I would like the baby up before 11am I just don't think he should be sleeping that long. i expect laundry the be cleaned, folded and put away! The laundry in our house gets washed and dried them it usually ends up on the dining room table for half the day then it makes its way over to the living room where its folded and left on the couch for a day or two (is it to much to ask to have it put away). I expect the house clean! Cleaning the kitchen for her consist of of doing the dishes and mopping the floor! Cabinets, frig, counters, stove maybe once a month. Cleaning the dinning room consist of her wiping the table and vacuuming one area of the carpet. Bathroom, living room are cleaned in the same manner and the children's room and bedroom upstairs can go months without cleaning! I expect lunch made before i got to work! No breakfast and lunch not even a packed lunch/diner!I expect a home cooked diner for my children! Not pizza, macaroni or canned spaghetti!!! Is this to much to ask? i expect diner when I get home, real food not something she sends me on yoville or farmtown, which she's on until 2am!! DO I EXPECT TO MUCH? I thought these where to things a stay at home mom did? Are my expectations to old school? I need answers I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and I don't know how much longer I can last.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:16pm
Samantha scaled the lower cupboards with her bare feet.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:17pm

<< In any case, what difference does it make? I don't believe parents are supervising when they're asleep.>>


That is certainly a unique definition of supervision, I don't know any parent who would say they aren't supervising their children when they are asleep overnight.


My point is that a parent sleeping at home, for elementary school children isn't any different than a parent being occupied elsewhere in the house.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:19pm

She decided that only winter clothes go in the closet?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:21pm

We have removed the door to a bedroom a time or two for slamming them.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:23pm

~Yes~


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:24pm

Hey as long as the pjs fit the dress code at school, well and even if they don't, what's wrong with letting her experience that consequence?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:26pm
When I was a kid, I was responsible for turning all of my clothes right side out and bringing them down when my mom was doing laundry. And then taking them back upstairs when she was done. I complained one too many times about how hard that was when I was about 12-- and she said that was fine, that I could just do my laundry entirely by myself. From that point on, I have done my own laundry. While I hated doing the laundry, being a social pariah because my clothes were stinky would have been much worse as a teen.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:28pm

What does that have to do with how your dd views the situation?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:29pm
We have two of the divided hampers. One upstairs and one downstairs (our bedrooms are upstairs, but the bathroom is downstairs). I have to say that of the people in my house, I'm the least likely to actually put my clothes in the hamper every time I dress/undress. At least upstairs in the bedroom.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:31pm

I actually have five kids.

********
Ducky

Pages