Frustrated Dad

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2009
Frustrated Dad
2943
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 3:28am
I really need some opinions on my situation. I am a 30 year old dad with 3 children. I work 10-12 hrs a day 5 days a week and every other Saturday. I am pretty much a homebody, the only time I really go out is on Sundays during football season to watch the games. I do what i need to in order to support my wife and kids. But I am at wits end with my wife and need some help.
My wifes day is as follows. She wakes up any where from 10am - noon (which means 2 of our children (11 and 7) wake up feed themselves and walk to school) at which point she will got downstairs to the kitchen to light a cigarette and call her sister or best friend. During the 1/2hr to an hour that she is on the phone she will make (for herself)and drink about 3 cups of coffee. At around noon when the baby wakes up (11 months) she'll feed him change his diaper and set him on the floor and mostly ignore him as she calls her mother. Usually around 12:30 she'll head out to do errands leaving me with the baby until 1:30 when she'll get home so I can rush out to work where I'm 20 minutes away from and need to be in by 2.
Heres the thing i have no problem being the sole financial gainer in the house hold but I expect certain things. I guess thats the reason for this post to find out if my expectation are to lofty. I expect her to get up in the morning with the children make them breakfast help them pick out cloths make sure they have their homework and send them off to school( I would even help in the morning but i got sick of waking up in the morning while shes still sleeping when i was the one at work last night). I would like breakfast every once in a while made when i wake up i don't expect it but it would be nice. I would like the baby up before 11am I just don't think he should be sleeping that long. i expect laundry the be cleaned, folded and put away! The laundry in our house gets washed and dried them it usually ends up on the dining room table for half the day then it makes its way over to the living room where its folded and left on the couch for a day or two (is it to much to ask to have it put away). I expect the house clean! Cleaning the kitchen for her consist of of doing the dishes and mopping the floor! Cabinets, frig, counters, stove maybe once a month. Cleaning the dinning room consist of her wiping the table and vacuuming one area of the carpet. Bathroom, living room are cleaned in the same manner and the children's room and bedroom upstairs can go months without cleaning! I expect lunch made before i got to work! No breakfast and lunch not even a packed lunch/diner!I expect a home cooked diner for my children! Not pizza, macaroni or canned spaghetti!!! Is this to much to ask? i expect diner when I get home, real food not something she sends me on yoville or farmtown, which she's on until 2am!! DO I EXPECT TO MUCH? I thought these where to things a stay at home mom did? Are my expectations to old school? I need answers I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and I don't know how much longer I can last.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:32pm

<<. Her room was a MESS less than 12 hours after I helped her clean it top to bottom one time. AND that was INCLUDING sleeping time-lol!!>>


I didn't say clean up her room, I said clear out her room.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:34pm
lol.

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:35pm

Just in case you forgot.....you rock!

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:36pm

~That is certainly a unique definition of supervision, I don't know any parent who would say they aren't supervising their children when they are asleep overnight~


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:37pm
That's the ONE thing that my kids have complained about.

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:39pm
I meant a student not qualified for services. Like, let's say a student came to me and said, "Hey, I'm having a really hard time answering your test questions in 30 minutes. Can I have a little bit longer?" I assume I could say, "Sure, that's not a problem." Although on the other hand, that might make things unfair for other students . . .
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:41pm

Dh does that, drives me crazy....but I just move it.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:42pm

I can see NO reason to have off season clothes in

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:43pm

We have the same rule though I do let them eat popcorn in the family room while watching a movie. And sometimes, I do let dd take an afterschool snack up to her room if she needs to have a quiet area to do homework. She usually does it at the kitchen table, but sometimes, she needs a more quiet area. In those cases, I'll let her take a pre-approved snack up to her room, but she is usually good about bringing the dirty dish downstairs.

Now candy wrappers, etc, things I don't know they have or the occasional thing they sneak upstairs, are the things I find in their rooms!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:46pm

Yes, that is the problem. It is unfair to be making random accommodations for students because presumably, there are other students in the room who might also benefit from having the extra time if needed.

In that situation I would probe a little further...."Is this a problem you are having only in my class, or have you had this problem before?" If it's just my class, I would a one set of follow-up questions geared specifically to that class/student and his or her study habits, but if it is an ongoing problem, I might suggest the student approach the office of disability services for testing and uniform accommodations so that the student in question could perform at his or her best throughout the college career.

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