Frustrated Dad

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2009
Frustrated Dad
2943
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 3:28am
I really need some opinions on my situation. I am a 30 year old dad with 3 children. I work 10-12 hrs a day 5 days a week and every other Saturday. I am pretty much a homebody, the only time I really go out is on Sundays during football season to watch the games. I do what i need to in order to support my wife and kids. But I am at wits end with my wife and need some help.
My wifes day is as follows. She wakes up any where from 10am - noon (which means 2 of our children (11 and 7) wake up feed themselves and walk to school) at which point she will got downstairs to the kitchen to light a cigarette and call her sister or best friend. During the 1/2hr to an hour that she is on the phone she will make (for herself)and drink about 3 cups of coffee. At around noon when the baby wakes up (11 months) she'll feed him change his diaper and set him on the floor and mostly ignore him as she calls her mother. Usually around 12:30 she'll head out to do errands leaving me with the baby until 1:30 when she'll get home so I can rush out to work where I'm 20 minutes away from and need to be in by 2.
Heres the thing i have no problem being the sole financial gainer in the house hold but I expect certain things. I guess thats the reason for this post to find out if my expectation are to lofty. I expect her to get up in the morning with the children make them breakfast help them pick out cloths make sure they have their homework and send them off to school( I would even help in the morning but i got sick of waking up in the morning while shes still sleeping when i was the one at work last night). I would like breakfast every once in a while made when i wake up i don't expect it but it would be nice. I would like the baby up before 11am I just don't think he should be sleeping that long. i expect laundry the be cleaned, folded and put away! The laundry in our house gets washed and dried them it usually ends up on the dining room table for half the day then it makes its way over to the living room where its folded and left on the couch for a day or two (is it to much to ask to have it put away). I expect the house clean! Cleaning the kitchen for her consist of of doing the dishes and mopping the floor! Cabinets, frig, counters, stove maybe once a month. Cleaning the dinning room consist of her wiping the table and vacuuming one area of the carpet. Bathroom, living room are cleaned in the same manner and the children's room and bedroom upstairs can go months without cleaning! I expect lunch made before i got to work! No breakfast and lunch not even a packed lunch/diner!I expect a home cooked diner for my children! Not pizza, macaroni or canned spaghetti!!! Is this to much to ask? i expect diner when I get home, real food not something she sends me on yoville or farmtown, which she's on until 2am!! DO I EXPECT TO MUCH? I thought these where to things a stay at home mom did? Are my expectations to old school? I need answers I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and I don't know how much longer I can last.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Fri, 03-05-2010 - 1:25am

Doctors would not agree with you. Most medical dictionaries list birth to 12 or 24 months as the period during which a child is generally referred to as an infant. The etymology of the word comes from the Latin "infans" which is derived from "in" and "fari" (not speaking), with the generalized idea that children don't gain the ability of speech until about 2 years old.

Regardless if a child loses infancy at 12 or 24 months, 11 months is well within the commonly recognized definition of the term "infant"--your own predilection to redefining words at your own convenience, notwithstanding.

************

Kitty

"I would make a long list, but that would take too much time and I have stuff to do like taking over the world and cooking cheese spaghetti."

************

Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Fri, 03-05-2010 - 4:24am

<"Face value?" "The nominal value or dollar value of a security stated by the issuer">

Um. Ok. Here is the common definition of 'face value' used in the sense that I used it:

"the apparent value or significance "

I don't think it is irrelevant.

Meez 3D avatar avatars games
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Fri, 03-05-2010 - 4:31am

You are at liberty to ignore my posts if you like.

If the older children are getting themselves to school without an issue, why is it bad for the mother to focus on the baby's schedule?

Given that my 15mo old is not currently sleeping through the night despite my best efforts, and given that my niece didn't sleep through until 2yo, I'm going to say that your assumption is invalid.

If I had a job that was keeping me up late at night, I would feel perfectly justified in coming in late the next morning.

A baby is not likely to sleep from 8pm to 12noon. Therefore, the mother may be on the computer because the baby is awake and there's no point in her going to bed yet.

It is possible that the mother just sucks, but there are so many holes in the OP that I can't understand why you would take it at face value (see previous post for definition)

Meez 3D avatar avatars games
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Fri, 03-05-2010 - 4:33am
::::sigh:::: I do love you, you know.

************

Kitty

"I would make a long list, but that would take too much time and I have stuff to do like taking over the world and cooking cheese spaghetti."

************

Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Fri, 03-05-2010 - 4:36am

Ma baybeh iz teh geenyus!

He can say daddy, ball, bath, the name of the childminder's dog, bye bye and drink.

Although I'm the only one who understands the difference between 'ba' for ball and 'ba' for bath. But that's not his fault!

Ma baybeh iz teh geenyus!

Meez 3D avatar avatars games
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Fri, 03-05-2010 - 4:38am

*bashful giggle*

http://cheezburger.com/View.aspx?aid=3255917568

(plz to click link, c&p is teh broke)

Meez 3D avatar avatars games
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Fri, 03-05-2010 - 4:51am

Awww. My baby was a genius, too, but like my Mom commented, "What is so surprising about any child of YOURS talking in full sentences before age 2? Call me when you raise one that shuts up."

LOL. My Mom rulz!

************

Kitty

"I would make a long list, but that would take too much time and I have stuff to do like taking over the world and cooking cheese spaghetti."

************

Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Fri, 03-05-2010 - 4:54am

LMAO!

You need to bring your mum to the UK. You, Mama Puss, me and Mama Rose. We'll partaay.

Meez 3D avatar avatars games
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Fri, 03-05-2010 - 9:06am

"In our opinion"

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Fri, 03-05-2010 - 9:11am

okay, to each his own:)

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