Frustrated Dad

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2009
Frustrated Dad
2943
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 3:28am
I really need some opinions on my situation. I am a 30 year old dad with 3 children. I work 10-12 hrs a day 5 days a week and every other Saturday. I am pretty much a homebody, the only time I really go out is on Sundays during football season to watch the games. I do what i need to in order to support my wife and kids. But I am at wits end with my wife and need some help.
My wifes day is as follows. She wakes up any where from 10am - noon (which means 2 of our children (11 and 7) wake up feed themselves and walk to school) at which point she will got downstairs to the kitchen to light a cigarette and call her sister or best friend. During the 1/2hr to an hour that she is on the phone she will make (for herself)and drink about 3 cups of coffee. At around noon when the baby wakes up (11 months) she'll feed him change his diaper and set him on the floor and mostly ignore him as she calls her mother. Usually around 12:30 she'll head out to do errands leaving me with the baby until 1:30 when she'll get home so I can rush out to work where I'm 20 minutes away from and need to be in by 2.
Heres the thing i have no problem being the sole financial gainer in the house hold but I expect certain things. I guess thats the reason for this post to find out if my expectation are to lofty. I expect her to get up in the morning with the children make them breakfast help them pick out cloths make sure they have their homework and send them off to school( I would even help in the morning but i got sick of waking up in the morning while shes still sleeping when i was the one at work last night). I would like breakfast every once in a while made when i wake up i don't expect it but it would be nice. I would like the baby up before 11am I just don't think he should be sleeping that long. i expect laundry the be cleaned, folded and put away! The laundry in our house gets washed and dried them it usually ends up on the dining room table for half the day then it makes its way over to the living room where its folded and left on the couch for a day or two (is it to much to ask to have it put away). I expect the house clean! Cleaning the kitchen for her consist of of doing the dishes and mopping the floor! Cabinets, frig, counters, stove maybe once a month. Cleaning the dinning room consist of her wiping the table and vacuuming one area of the carpet. Bathroom, living room are cleaned in the same manner and the children's room and bedroom upstairs can go months without cleaning! I expect lunch made before i got to work! No breakfast and lunch not even a packed lunch/diner!I expect a home cooked diner for my children! Not pizza, macaroni or canned spaghetti!!! Is this to much to ask? i expect diner when I get home, real food not something she sends me on yoville or farmtown, which she's on until 2am!! DO I EXPECT TO MUCH? I thought these where to things a stay at home mom did? Are my expectations to old school? I need answers I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and I don't know how much longer I can last.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
In reply to: daddy_gil
Fri, 09-11-2009 - 12:32pm

"So if I am following this right, a poster can come along, make up a scenario, everyone will debate this scenario and it is ok as long as it interests some people?"

That is a fairly accurate description of how debate boards work. I am sure most of what people post is true how they see it, but who is to stop people from exaggerating a situation?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Fri, 09-11-2009 - 12:51pm
I (and I think many people in this forum) try to debate subjects/issues not peoples personal lives so it really makes no difference if a subject put up for debate is someones truthful story or not.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Fri, 09-11-2009 - 12:52pm

That is a fairly accurate description of how debate boards work. I am sure most of what people post is true how they see it, but who is to stop people from exaggerating a situation?


Thanks :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: daddy_gil
Fri, 09-11-2009 - 12:56pm

Exactly.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Fri, 09-11-2009 - 12:58pm
And I find that even the hit and run posters often provide interesting scenarios that give rise to some really fascinating debate about the complexities of SAH or WOH or WAH arrangments within a family - I always enjoy it and I ALWAYS learn something.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Fri, 09-11-2009 - 1:09pm
And the fact that they are hit and run can make is easier to debate the subject rather than the person.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
In reply to: daddy_gil
Fri, 09-11-2009 - 1:13pm

And those servants must be unemployed now, right? So maybe Frustrated Dad could hire them and solve all their problems.


(Bad, bad, bad. Somebody slap me.)

Avatar for mommy2amani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: daddy_gil
Fri, 09-11-2009 - 1:42pm

I don't get why that's funny.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Fri, 09-11-2009 - 2:05pm
My DH made a big mistake 26 years ago. Shortly after I began SAH with then infant DD1 he came home at lunch time. I stopped what I was doing and started to make him lunch. He stopped me and told me that he never wanted me to think that I had to wait on him. I took him at his word.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
In reply to: daddy_gil
Fri, 09-11-2009 - 2:13pm

ITA.

 

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