Frustrated Dad

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2009
Frustrated Dad
2943
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 3:28am
I really need some opinions on my situation. I am a 30 year old dad with 3 children. I work 10-12 hrs a day 5 days a week and every other Saturday. I am pretty much a homebody, the only time I really go out is on Sundays during football season to watch the games. I do what i need to in order to support my wife and kids. But I am at wits end with my wife and need some help.
My wifes day is as follows. She wakes up any where from 10am - noon (which means 2 of our children (11 and 7) wake up feed themselves and walk to school) at which point she will got downstairs to the kitchen to light a cigarette and call her sister or best friend. During the 1/2hr to an hour that she is on the phone she will make (for herself)and drink about 3 cups of coffee. At around noon when the baby wakes up (11 months) she'll feed him change his diaper and set him on the floor and mostly ignore him as she calls her mother. Usually around 12:30 she'll head out to do errands leaving me with the baby until 1:30 when she'll get home so I can rush out to work where I'm 20 minutes away from and need to be in by 2.
Heres the thing i have no problem being the sole financial gainer in the house hold but I expect certain things. I guess thats the reason for this post to find out if my expectation are to lofty. I expect her to get up in the morning with the children make them breakfast help them pick out cloths make sure they have their homework and send them off to school( I would even help in the morning but i got sick of waking up in the morning while shes still sleeping when i was the one at work last night). I would like breakfast every once in a while made when i wake up i don't expect it but it would be nice. I would like the baby up before 11am I just don't think he should be sleeping that long. i expect laundry the be cleaned, folded and put away! The laundry in our house gets washed and dried them it usually ends up on the dining room table for half the day then it makes its way over to the living room where its folded and left on the couch for a day or two (is it to much to ask to have it put away). I expect the house clean! Cleaning the kitchen for her consist of of doing the dishes and mopping the floor! Cabinets, frig, counters, stove maybe once a month. Cleaning the dinning room consist of her wiping the table and vacuuming one area of the carpet. Bathroom, living room are cleaned in the same manner and the children's room and bedroom upstairs can go months without cleaning! I expect lunch made before i got to work! No breakfast and lunch not even a packed lunch/diner!I expect a home cooked diner for my children! Not pizza, macaroni or canned spaghetti!!! Is this to much to ask? i expect diner when I get home, real food not something she sends me on yoville or farmtown, which she's on until 2am!! DO I EXPECT TO MUCH? I thought these where to things a stay at home mom did? Are my expectations to old school? I need answers I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and I don't know how much longer I can last.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 5:17pm

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 5:23pm

Then you may want to adjust how you use the word "should."

Now I am thinking of a Greek member of parliament, why is that Puss?

~o~ ...^^^... ~o~

America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.

Oscar Wilde

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 5:24pm
How would you know the difference between a kid who really is ADD and one who is not?

~o~ ...^^^... ~o~

America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.

Oscar Wilde

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 5:25pm

Now I am thinking of a Greek member of parliament, why is that Puss?

It's just how you roll, Sild. ;)

************

Kitty

"I would make a long list, but that would take too much time and I have stuff to do like taking over the world and cooking cheese spaghetti."

************

Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 5:26pm

~vera bradley fan =)~


Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 5:29pm

OK, not for nothing, but the "just ask" approach, believe me I have tried it several times, including in a recent thread. Result? Zip!

It does get frustrating sometimes. A lot of the time, however, you can make out what people are trying to say, even when it is badly written. It does get tiring, but it is doable. This afternoon I read 20 pages of badly constructed argument written in extremely poor English (translated badly from another language). It made me want to scream, and it made me very tired.

~o~ ...^^^... ~o~

America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.

Oscar Wilde

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 5:32pm
Yeah, I guess. ;) BTW, they lost control of the government printing office yesterday, during the demonstration/strike. It was a bit messed up. Poor Georgie-boy had to trundle off to beg from Sarkozy without the latest laws having been officially recorded.

~o~ ...^^^... ~o~

America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.

Oscar Wilde

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 5:43pm
Me personally?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 5:46pm

in my case there were chemical imbalances that were fixed...and I continue to manage that with extra Vitamin D - I had a severe vitamin d deficiency and depression is one of the side effects of that.

I guess my point is - medication is not an 'easy out' - it is not a sign of not being 'strong enough' to 'suck it up' - in many many cases it is the only path to a normal life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 5:52pm

Oh okay, i got it,

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