Frustrated Dad

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2009
Frustrated Dad
2943
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 3:28am
I really need some opinions on my situation. I am a 30 year old dad with 3 children. I work 10-12 hrs a day 5 days a week and every other Saturday. I am pretty much a homebody, the only time I really go out is on Sundays during football season to watch the games. I do what i need to in order to support my wife and kids. But I am at wits end with my wife and need some help.
My wifes day is as follows. She wakes up any where from 10am - noon (which means 2 of our children (11 and 7) wake up feed themselves and walk to school) at which point she will got downstairs to the kitchen to light a cigarette and call her sister or best friend. During the 1/2hr to an hour that she is on the phone she will make (for herself)and drink about 3 cups of coffee. At around noon when the baby wakes up (11 months) she'll feed him change his diaper and set him on the floor and mostly ignore him as she calls her mother. Usually around 12:30 she'll head out to do errands leaving me with the baby until 1:30 when she'll get home so I can rush out to work where I'm 20 minutes away from and need to be in by 2.
Heres the thing i have no problem being the sole financial gainer in the house hold but I expect certain things. I guess thats the reason for this post to find out if my expectation are to lofty. I expect her to get up in the morning with the children make them breakfast help them pick out cloths make sure they have their homework and send them off to school( I would even help in the morning but i got sick of waking up in the morning while shes still sleeping when i was the one at work last night). I would like breakfast every once in a while made when i wake up i don't expect it but it would be nice. I would like the baby up before 11am I just don't think he should be sleeping that long. i expect laundry the be cleaned, folded and put away! The laundry in our house gets washed and dried them it usually ends up on the dining room table for half the day then it makes its way over to the living room where its folded and left on the couch for a day or two (is it to much to ask to have it put away). I expect the house clean! Cleaning the kitchen for her consist of of doing the dishes and mopping the floor! Cabinets, frig, counters, stove maybe once a month. Cleaning the dinning room consist of her wiping the table and vacuuming one area of the carpet. Bathroom, living room are cleaned in the same manner and the children's room and bedroom upstairs can go months without cleaning! I expect lunch made before i got to work! No breakfast and lunch not even a packed lunch/diner!I expect a home cooked diner for my children! Not pizza, macaroni or canned spaghetti!!! Is this to much to ask? i expect diner when I get home, real food not something she sends me on yoville or farmtown, which she's on until 2am!! DO I EXPECT TO MUCH? I thought these where to things a stay at home mom did? Are my expectations to old school? I need answers I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and I don't know how much longer I can last.

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Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 5:52pm
OK, so how would you know that lots of kids are taking medication needlessly?

~o~ ...^^^... ~o~

America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.

Oscar Wilde

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 5:57pm
It does make it a lot easier for others to follow what you (not you personally, I mean this as the general "you") are saying. You can think of decent spelling/grammar as the written equivalent of looking someone in the eye and speaking clearly.

~o~ ...^^^... ~o~

America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.

Oscar Wilde

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 6:35pm

Same here. DD1 just left for a sleepover and won't be back until 4 p.m. tomorrow. She wouldn't be pleased if I called her, and I don't see the need.

When the kids go to their grandparents for a few days, I do call them, but mainly because I miss them. They're usually too busy to talk more than a few minutes.

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 6:38pm
Me too. My DH has been making extra pancakes on weekends lately to freeze for DD1 to eat before school, but no chocolate chips. I gave up chocolate for lent, so that sounds really good to me right about now.;)
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 6:42pm
I'll admit to not having read the entire thread, but I've read a good part of it, and I haven't seen any comments, direct or indirect, about posters here. The discussion has been about the op (who almost everyone acknowledges is likely fictitious).
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 6:44pm

This is what i said


Another perfect example of being over diagnosed and medicated for something that is not there.


I dont think i said


~that lots of kids are taking medication needlessly~


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 6:44pm

Supporting another. Not sure how much more to explain.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 6:46pm

Umm..ok. Not sure what the 2nd part of your post means unless it is about people who need to go on meds because they are stressed out from bills-???

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 6:46pm
that sorta hints at, must, say it ain't so, LOL.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 6:47pm
You can look back if you would like as I see no debate in this as I was not the 1st to use the word "hover"

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