Frustrated Dad

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2009
Frustrated Dad
2943
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 3:28am
I really need some opinions on my situation. I am a 30 year old dad with 3 children. I work 10-12 hrs a day 5 days a week and every other Saturday. I am pretty much a homebody, the only time I really go out is on Sundays during football season to watch the games. I do what i need to in order to support my wife and kids. But I am at wits end with my wife and need some help.
My wifes day is as follows. She wakes up any where from 10am - noon (which means 2 of our children (11 and 7) wake up feed themselves and walk to school) at which point she will got downstairs to the kitchen to light a cigarette and call her sister or best friend. During the 1/2hr to an hour that she is on the phone she will make (for herself)and drink about 3 cups of coffee. At around noon when the baby wakes up (11 months) she'll feed him change his diaper and set him on the floor and mostly ignore him as she calls her mother. Usually around 12:30 she'll head out to do errands leaving me with the baby until 1:30 when she'll get home so I can rush out to work where I'm 20 minutes away from and need to be in by 2.
Heres the thing i have no problem being the sole financial gainer in the house hold but I expect certain things. I guess thats the reason for this post to find out if my expectation are to lofty. I expect her to get up in the morning with the children make them breakfast help them pick out cloths make sure they have their homework and send them off to school( I would even help in the morning but i got sick of waking up in the morning while shes still sleeping when i was the one at work last night). I would like breakfast every once in a while made when i wake up i don't expect it but it would be nice. I would like the baby up before 11am I just don't think he should be sleeping that long. i expect laundry the be cleaned, folded and put away! The laundry in our house gets washed and dried them it usually ends up on the dining room table for half the day then it makes its way over to the living room where its folded and left on the couch for a day or two (is it to much to ask to have it put away). I expect the house clean! Cleaning the kitchen for her consist of of doing the dishes and mopping the floor! Cabinets, frig, counters, stove maybe once a month. Cleaning the dinning room consist of her wiping the table and vacuuming one area of the carpet. Bathroom, living room are cleaned in the same manner and the children's room and bedroom upstairs can go months without cleaning! I expect lunch made before i got to work! No breakfast and lunch not even a packed lunch/diner!I expect a home cooked diner for my children! Not pizza, macaroni or canned spaghetti!!! Is this to much to ask? i expect diner when I get home, real food not something she sends me on yoville or farmtown, which she's on until 2am!! DO I EXPECT TO MUCH? I thought these where to things a stay at home mom did? Are my expectations to old school? I need answers I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and I don't know how much longer I can last.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 6:49pm
I guess maybe that was what her post meant as it didn't make much sense to me. We won't take vacations unless we have the money and there is nothing owed when we get home.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 6:53pm

Yes, I believe a parent who does not call at least once when a child is away a few days, is not concerned. You CAN be not concerned of who they are staying with and what they are doing but when your child is gone a few days, an interested and involved parent does give at least one call just to speak to their child.


If your child was away at a friends house for a few days, would you call them?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 6:55pm
That and just not understanding. Money has NOTHING to do with "support".
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 6:58pm
I said my gf's dd sleep over for 2 nights and she called. I called my dd this morning to see when she was coming home.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 7:01pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 7:01pm
I am sure you were going through alot. I also believe that not many people would be able to
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 7:03pm
What do you consider "real" hardship? Why do you think some people have not gone through "real" hardship but can do so without meds?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 7:04pm

that's interesting, the

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 7:09pm
well, i was thinking of the connection, "financial support"...but no, you're right, siupport has nothing to do with money now that you put it that way.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 7:10pm
Of course it is called raising your children but it is good and healthy

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