Frustrated Dad

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2009
Frustrated Dad
2943
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 3:28am
I really need some opinions on my situation. I am a 30 year old dad with 3 children. I work 10-12 hrs a day 5 days a week and every other Saturday. I am pretty much a homebody, the only time I really go out is on Sundays during football season to watch the games. I do what i need to in order to support my wife and kids. But I am at wits end with my wife and need some help.
My wifes day is as follows. She wakes up any where from 10am - noon (which means 2 of our children (11 and 7) wake up feed themselves and walk to school) at which point she will got downstairs to the kitchen to light a cigarette and call her sister or best friend. During the 1/2hr to an hour that she is on the phone she will make (for herself)and drink about 3 cups of coffee. At around noon when the baby wakes up (11 months) she'll feed him change his diaper and set him on the floor and mostly ignore him as she calls her mother. Usually around 12:30 she'll head out to do errands leaving me with the baby until 1:30 when she'll get home so I can rush out to work where I'm 20 minutes away from and need to be in by 2.
Heres the thing i have no problem being the sole financial gainer in the house hold but I expect certain things. I guess thats the reason for this post to find out if my expectation are to lofty. I expect her to get up in the morning with the children make them breakfast help them pick out cloths make sure they have their homework and send them off to school( I would even help in the morning but i got sick of waking up in the morning while shes still sleeping when i was the one at work last night). I would like breakfast every once in a while made when i wake up i don't expect it but it would be nice. I would like the baby up before 11am I just don't think he should be sleeping that long. i expect laundry the be cleaned, folded and put away! The laundry in our house gets washed and dried them it usually ends up on the dining room table for half the day then it makes its way over to the living room where its folded and left on the couch for a day or two (is it to much to ask to have it put away). I expect the house clean! Cleaning the kitchen for her consist of of doing the dishes and mopping the floor! Cabinets, frig, counters, stove maybe once a month. Cleaning the dinning room consist of her wiping the table and vacuuming one area of the carpet. Bathroom, living room are cleaned in the same manner and the children's room and bedroom upstairs can go months without cleaning! I expect lunch made before i got to work! No breakfast and lunch not even a packed lunch/diner!I expect a home cooked diner for my children! Not pizza, macaroni or canned spaghetti!!! Is this to much to ask? i expect diner when I get home, real food not something she sends me on yoville or farmtown, which she's on until 2am!! DO I EXPECT TO MUCH? I thought these where to things a stay at home mom did? Are my expectations to old school? I need answers I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and I don't know how much longer I can last.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 8:45pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 8:47pm

No, I have a hard time because my sitters are busy with their own families and jobs.


The free sitters, right?

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 8:49pm

Are your parents, siblings, friends, relatives not supportive? Is that your point?

One of the reasons I live where I live is to be close to extended family and old friends. The family can be a pain in the ..., but when the going gets tough, they rally around like nobody's business. When my sister was dying of liver failure, 30+ friends and relatives inquired on how they could help, either financially or medically, e.g. donating a portion of their liver. Sadly, she died 6 years ago, but the world now has 30+ organ donor cards on file and my father, brother, and I feel blessed by their support and generosity when we lost her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 8:51pm

My dd will take whatever she gets, lol.

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 8:54pm

Are your parents, siblings, friends, relatives not supportive? Is that your point?


That's what I'm getting.

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 9:07pm

As a parent of a teen who was interested in babysitting, the rates are always negotiable. My dd at 13 would have taken anything, at 14 with a little experience she had greater expectations, but she accepted anything from 5 to 12 an hour. At 15, she has a track record, trust and repeat business, so she usually makes $12hr.

In my community, fairly upscale, all rates are negotiable but buyers do appreciate good value, a teen great with kids like my dd.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 9:24pm
No, I have a hard time because my sitters are busy with their own families and jobs.

The free sitters, right?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 9:25pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 9:36pm
I quoted you directly! It really shows maturity when one takes responsibility for their own words.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 9:39pm

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I think that it could be a sign of not being concerned, but I'm absolutely certain that it isn't always the case.

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Depends on who she was with, where she was, what I was doing, many factors. I might. I might not.

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