Full-time Nanny with SAHP - Why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Full-time Nanny with SAHP - Why?
1258
Tue, 02-10-2004 - 6:41pm
Something I've often wondered about, but never had the opportunity to ask. Why do SAHM or SAHD need a full time nanny, especially when they aren't working from home. I can easily see the need if the SAHP is a WAHP, but what is the logic for a full time nanny otherwise?

Any comments?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 7:03pm
Ah yes, yet another brilliant contribution to the debate.

I really push your buttons, don't I?

Here's an idea, for a change, try to debate the issues instead of the people. You're so predictable.


Edited 2/18/2004 7:08:12 PM ET by islimshady

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 9:21pm
You go ahead and teach responsibility to your children through saving money for college and taking care of your own. I am going to teach my children to take care of others. Then when you and PJM take over the world, my kids will have a lot of free time on their hands.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 9:36pm

You're still not debating the specific issue.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 9:39pm
You know, PLENTY of the posts above were outside of the context of the SAHP with a full time nanny. You can try to cover your butt now by saying that you were only talking about people who haven't yet saved for college who were paying for full time childcare and volunteering 40 hours a week but throughout the course of the thread I believe I detected a note of disgust related to ANY parent spending their time volunteering when they didn't have college saved for. You said much the same thing back when Cindytree admitted she did not have her children's college saved for and she chose to SAH with kids in school. I can't believe you are expecting me NOT to apply some of your previous leanings to your current arguments.

You can backpedal all you want. I personally don't have time to go back and research the derivation throughout the thread of the various financial and parenting philosophies spouted by you and PJM. Suffice it to say, I am sure I am not the only one who got the impression that you guys disapprove of people who are working hard at something other than taking care of their immediate families and their future college expenses.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 9:41pm

For the fourth or fifth time, you're missing the point.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 10:13pm
If tomorrow I felt a surge of passion for a worthy cause that could really use my help 40 hours a week and I felt so strongly about it that I figured out a way to make sure my kids were taken care of to my standards 40 hours a week and I had the support of my dh, yes, I would do so.

I can understand paying a caregiver for 40 hours a week so a person can go out and do good works. I wouldn't see it as all that much different than the person who chooses to teach school in a blighted urban community when they have plenty of other work choices.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 11:18pm
Oh, I'm sorry. I was following along from the part where Sus talked about a woman starting MADD and you hoped that her volunteer work on that was not at the expense of making her children take out college loans. I didn't know that the MADD woman had young children who were being cared for by a 40 hour a week nanny.

Too many issues here: SAHP having a full-time nanny, SAHP devoting 40 hours a week volunteering, SAHP not working at a paying job AND not having appropriate (in your standards) college funds saved, SAHP not actually spending his or her time with children, and so forth, it really is confusing. You have a lot of strong opinions about what a SAHP should be doing even though you don't really value SAH in and of itself. Why don't you stick with the People Shouldn't SAH mantra instead of My Ten Important Rules For Those Who Make the Mistake of SAH?

I must confess, I don't have time to go back and re-read and find out whether I made a mental leap that wasn't there (don't think I necessarily did) but I do know enough of your attitude about paying for college to know that you probably want to say that no one should be doing anything other than working for money when they haven't got Harvard or Yale paid for for their children.

I don't think I will take your advice about keeping up. I think I will go away for a while and do some good works. I caught a whiff of some of what I consider a yucky attitude about taking care of others only after a very prosperous future is secured for one's own children and it made me feel outraged. I think I will turn that outrage into something positive. I think I will spend more time volunteering and less time on this board. Don't you think that would be a good idea? (I really would feel so much better knowing I have your approval...)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 11:18pm
Oh Good Grief! You truly believe that a child who has everything handed to him/her on a silver platter is better off than the child who has learned how to give of him/herself through witnessing his/her parents give to the community? What a crock that is! There are a good many very good people whose parents did not save for their education. They managed to do it themself. I personally have saved for my children's future, but I often think and wonder if I *should* hand it to them. Struggle builds character and the sacrifice you are talking about is much more meaningful if the child has to do some him/herself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 11:19pm
What ARE you talking about? Student loans are um... LOANS... meaning they are repaid.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 11:23pm
What are you asking? You are asking if she would do THAT to her children. Do what? Oh I see, you mean would she do precisely what you are doing? Put her children in othercare for 40-50 hours per week? How can you do that to YOUR children when it is not necessity? Do you not see how your pov on this is totally contradictory? Are you acknowledging that *othercare* is inferior to *mother* care? Wow, sure sounds like it.

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