Full-time Nanny with SAHP - Why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Full-time Nanny with SAHP - Why?
1258
Tue, 02-10-2004 - 6:41pm
Something I've often wondered about, but never had the opportunity to ask. Why do SAHM or SAHD need a full time nanny, especially when they aren't working from home. I can easily see the need if the SAHP is a WAHP, but what is the logic for a full time nanny otherwise?

Any comments?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 11:35pm
IMHO, those who view paid work as the only activity worthy of being separated from one's child, are the selfish ones. Clearly they value the money more than their children, (based on thier own logic that the volunteering parent's value their volunteering over the children.) These parents are openly admitting that 40-50 hours per week of separation from one's young child is harmful - yet it is not harmful if it is lining their pockets? And volunteers are selfish?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 11:39pm
Bravo bravo... and the award for the bestest mommy ever goes to....

ISLIMLADY!! She can do it all without any help!

Blech

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 11:44pm
Gee slim, you really are perfect. You see not all moms need to be everything to everyone. Some moms are ok with just being human. Some moms don't want to be with their kids all day. I am not one of those moms, but I do know several who actually CHOOSE to work because they don't want to be SAHPs. But they are less selfish than a parent who works 40 hours/week for no pay? How is that? If the parent thinks the work is valuable and if she feels she is a better parent if she is not hands on all day, she is selfish unless she is making money? Where the heck is the logic in that? Oh I see, there isn't!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 1:14am
It is actually not at all neglectful, since we do not in any way owe our children college like we DO owe them food, clothing, shelter, and a healthy growing environment.
Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 6:28am
Ooooh, don't get me started. I volunteer at least 10 hours a week at my son's school. I'm on the fundraising committee. Perhaps I should say I am the fundraising committee since we don't have a director of development. If all goes according to plan this year, I will be reponsible for bringing in $65 - $85,000 dollars.

That money goes to keeping our school going. Jewish day school is expensive. It costs over $10K to educate each child. But we don't charge that amount because in our community, few could pay it. So we fundraise to make up the difference.

I consider my fundraising to be invaluable to my community. We are the only Jewish day school in our regional area. Without it, we would have to truck our children 100 miles one way each day to get the same education.

I consider it my responsibilty to take care of my own AND give back to my community. Maybe you think people shouldn't have access to a school they can't pay full price for, but I totally disagree.

outside_the_box_mom

Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 6:32am
I volunteer 10 hours a week. I bill out at over $100 an hour. Those ten hours I give are professional hours -- I do professional work for my school. I'm not running bake sales. I told the head of school she didn't want to see an invoice from me and she replied, "I know."

My DH and I also give to charity.

outside_the_box_mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 7:34am
Why are people who have college loans "suffering" at all? Almost everyone thinks it's OK to take out loans to buy a house, what is the problem with taking out loans - or having your children take out loans - to pay for education? In the long run, an education is worth more than a house. Believe me, I had tons of loans and didn't view it as "suffering." I viewed it as a good investment. I could have gone someplace cheaper or someplace where I would have gotten a scholarship had I not thought the debt was worthwhile. It was voluntary.

I would think a child would have a better reason to think a parent "neglectful" who volunteered extensively on top of a 40-50 hour workweek than one who did so the 40 hours a week the majority of parents are gone anyhow.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 7:47am
Kids don't have to restrict their choices to inexpensive ones if their parents don't have all the bucks saved for college. Many of the students at extremely expensive colleges are on massive amounts of financial aid - scholarships, grants, loans, work-study jobs, etc. I was one of them. If they don't want to do that, State U. is another good option.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 8:18am
When my DD1 graduates from college next year she will have appoximately $22,000 worth of student loans (as will her sister below her). So for the price of a small to medium size car she will have gotten a four year degree at a private college. I don't see an issue.

By the time we get all three of our DDs through school we will have spent probably about $90,000 on tuition (less if DD3 decides to go to a state college which is where she is leaning). So far we have been paying for that with loans (we are hoping the market does a good turn around before DD3 goes so we can sell some stock and pay cash for at least some of her years). When we bought our house we purposely bought a house that cost half of what we qualified to make that posssible. We think borrowing that $90,000 for our DDs education is a much better idea than borrowing that $90,000 for a bigger house.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 9:13am
Ok, so the consensus of the board is that I'd be less selfish if I used my nanny (whom I could no longer afford) to volunteer for my church for 40 hours a week, resulting in my children needing to take out $100K plus loans to get a state university undergrad education, that to work for actual cash that could pay for things that would improve their lives.

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