Girls

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Girls
48
Thu, 09-25-2008 - 11:24pm

I would like to hear your thoughts on this topic - in our town - and I do not in anyway think we are unique. There are girls - who are fully capable young women - who have recently had babies. These girls are the one and two years out of school girls - all who did not leave school with a plan. None are married and only one is really in a committed relationship with the father of the baby. I have contended in more than one research paper for school that girl's sometimes get pregnant because they want their future to pick them instead of actually chasing their own dreams or making a real decision about their futures. Think about this as the range of social issues that go into this.


What are your thooughts about this? let's not do the right or wrong thing - and I don't think this is only about girls (lol cleary they are having sex with someone) I think the boys give up on themselves. So, how do we teach our children to believe in thier dreams and be willing to take action on them?

Courtney


You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope some day you'll join us....


Courtney

There's a great big beautiful tomorrow shining at the end of every day... there's a great big beautiful tom

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2008
In reply to: court527
Sat, 09-27-2008 - 1:26pm

"I think that our society artificially prolongs childhood into the early twenties."


I get what your saying, but I also see the trend of growing up too quickly as well.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
In reply to: court527
Sat, 09-27-2008 - 6:38pm

But there was more going on at the time too. They needed the jobs children were doing for the men returning home. High school was created because society really had no idea what to do with teenagers. Also in the fifties getting a high school education became mandatory where it was optional before. Has this done a disservice to young men and women

Courtney

There's a great big beautiful tomorrow shining at the end of every day... there's a great big beautiful tom

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
In reply to: court527
Sat, 09-27-2008 - 7:59pm

I do think there is often an element of girls giving up on their dreams.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
In reply to: court527
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 2:20am

i'm curious how much the lobster industry is challenged by kids chosing advanced education at the area colleges or elsewhere.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
In reply to: court527
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 2:32am

I'm amazed at what they do intellectually and academically at the high school level.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
In reply to: court527
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 6:14pm

I am talking more about the girls who either drop out of college or don't go early on who have babies say <21.

Courtney

There's a great big beautiful tomorrow shining at the end of every day... there's a great big beautiful tom

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
In reply to: court527
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 6:31pm

I can only speak in great detail about the one young man I work with. He has been saved from being a dropout because of lobstering. Getting an education was very important to his father and he pushed him to be part of the high school life while teaching him lobstering. This past spring his father was killed in a boating accident - the son was there and actually had to "let go" of the body to save himself. SO - at the point where this young man is there is no disuading him from carrying on his dads work - he was also a boat builder with his own mold.


As for what I know about lobstering and fishing (probably the same applies for any localized manual labor) most of the men I know who are in these businesses are very smart hand on men. One fisherman I know meets regularly with congressional committees and other goverment people on the fisheries council. I think Hollywood shows fishermen and lobster men as rude, not bright men - when in my reality most I know are very bright (sometimess crass ) but will give you the shirt off their back - businessmen. The fishing limits are killing the small fishermen but other than that where we are the work push is all about the shipyard. Maine is unique in terms of economy - they (and I read the report) would rather transfer in the talent they need than create job markets. The problem is we have to get past the belief that the only path is college or for people from lower income families that college is not an option. There is a lot of money to be made for people with professional technical skills like - electricians, skilled carpenters, plumbing, heating etc... but these things too take futher education after high school unless you have a good vocational program in a local school.


I think many kids here in Maine want more in life and may be feeling that pressure to take over the family farm or boat in lieu of following a dream of their own. Isn't that sort of what my OP was about? lol


but I digress

Courtney


You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope some day you'll join us....


Courtney

There's a great big beautiful tomorrow shining at the end of every day... there's a great big beautiful tom

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: court527
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 7:10pm
ITA. This is where I got the idea that some girls are using a baby as a (subconscious) way to boot themselves into adulthood. Currently it seems as though the only thing kids are ever supposed to be responsible for is academics. And too many of them aren't even given full responsibility for that. Beyond the guidelines of the school's required courses, their parents are deciding which electives they should take- or "letting" them take electives so long as they fulfill certain parental wishes for a proper education. Kids need to responsibilities that go beyond "get good grades" and they need to be trusted with making decisions about their own lives.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: court527
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 7:21pm
Yes lifespans are longer. No this does NOT mean that all other stages of life are longer. Society has artificially tried to set it up that way but I agree with court57 that we are seeing some bad fallout from this attempt to prolong the
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: court527
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 7:54pm
These days I'm a lot more impressed by a teen who can actually handle a checking account and a job than one who can get into college. Many kids are coached literally from preschool to focus on academics and get good grades at all costs. But those aren't the important skills. What will really make your life better is knowing how to handle money responsibly and being able to get along with coworkers and be a good employee- which is not the same as being a good student. The ones who can do that and get into college WITHOUT their parents looking over their shoulders to make sure they wrote the application essay well enough and make sure they filled out all the paperwork are the ones who really impress me. I do see some of them at work. Where they have afterschool jobs that make them my co-workers for a time. The mere fact that they are my coworkers is growing increasingly impressive as kids are pressured into NOT having afterschool jobs because their grades might suffer.