i don't know ANYONE who gets enough child support to live on only that, LOL!!!!!!!!! Heck, most of the divorced moms I know are not even seeing all (or any) of that money, either.
Her actual conviction seems to be either "I shouldn't have to work once I'm a Mom" or "my child shouldn't be in daycare". If it's the former, then it's also in this case coupled with the conviction that her husband is obligated to support her. Which he isn't. He's only obligated to support- in shared part- the child. If it's the latter, some posters have suggested part time work that happens when he's at home- evenings and/or weekends. That's a good compromise.
But "SAHM is best" is a conviction that is only sustainable in a marriage if BOTH partners share it. Otherwise it will put a big strain on the marriage. And putting one's conviction above the health of one's marriage only makes sense in certain cases. In this case it doesn't make sense because her entire argument for staying home is based on the premise that not doing so will somehow harm her child, as though this harm was far greater than the harm that could come from watching your parents' marriage fray and strain and possibly collapse. And then winding up in daycare anyway.
This is why I keep bringing up compromise. (I am biased towards compromise. Ya got me there.) If she works then his part of the compromise is that he must do more around the house- there must be meals HE cooks and laundry HE does. I do keep bringing that up as a point of compromise but she keeps ignoring it.
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Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
Again, a side step.
PumpkinAngel
i don't know ANYONE who gets enough child support to live on only that, LOL!!!!!!!!! Heck, most of the divorced moms I know are not even seeing all (or any) of that money, either.
eileen
Her actual conviction seems to be either "I shouldn't have to work once I'm a Mom" or "my child shouldn't be in daycare". If it's the former, then it's also in this case coupled with the conviction that her husband is obligated to support her. Which he isn't. He's only obligated to support- in shared part- the child. If it's the latter, some posters have suggested part time work that happens when he's at home- evenings and/or weekends. That's a good compromise.
But "SAHM is best" is a conviction that is only sustainable in a marriage if BOTH partners share it. Otherwise it will put a big strain on the marriage. And putting one's conviction above the health of one's marriage only makes sense in certain cases. In this case it doesn't make sense because her entire argument for staying home is based on the premise that not doing so will somehow harm her child, as though this harm was far greater than the harm that could come from watching your parents' marriage fray and strain and possibly collapse. And then winding up in daycare anyway.
it would have to be super-quick....I met my dh just a few months shy of my actual divorce in '04.
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