A good argument for staying home

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2007
A good argument for staying home
1429
Sat, 10-06-2007 - 1:58pm

Help.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2007
Mon, 10-15-2007 - 3:36pm
i didn't claim anyone here had a crummy life. just going by what i read in the posts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-15-2007 - 3:37pm
You don't happen to live in CT do you?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 10-15-2007 - 3:37pm
You really think that would be the answer for the OP? What about the child?

Dj


"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~


Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 10-15-2007 - 3:39pm
Hm. Must be invisible or something then...oh well!

Dj


"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~


Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 10-15-2007 - 3:39pm

Again, a side step.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Mon, 10-15-2007 - 3:41pm

i don't know ANYONE who gets enough child support to live on only that, LOL!!!!!!!!! Heck, most of the divorced moms I know are not even seeing all (or any) of that money, either.


eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 10-15-2007 - 3:42pm

Her actual conviction seems to be either "I shouldn't have to work once I'm a Mom" or "my child shouldn't be in daycare". If it's the former, then it's also in this case coupled with the conviction that her husband is obligated to support her. Which he isn't. He's only obligated to support- in shared part- the child. If it's the latter, some posters have suggested part time work that happens when he's at home- evenings and/or weekends. That's a good compromise.

But "SAHM is best" is a conviction that is only sustainable in a marriage if BOTH partners share it. Otherwise it will put a big strain on the marriage. And putting one's conviction above the health of one's marriage only makes sense in certain cases. In this case it doesn't make sense because her entire argument for staying home is based on the premise that not doing so will somehow harm her child, as though this harm was far greater than the harm that could come from watching your parents' marriage fray and strain and possibly collapse. And then winding up in daycare anyway.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Mon, 10-15-2007 - 3:44pm

it would have to be super-quick....I met my dh just a few months shy of my actual divorce in '04.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 10-15-2007 - 3:45pm
This is why I keep bringing up compromise. (I am biased towards compromise. Ya got me there.) If she works then his part of the compromise is that he must do more around the house- there must be meals HE cooks and laundry HE does. I do keep bringing that up as a point of compromise but she keeps ignoring it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Mon, 10-15-2007 - 3:45pm
AND second marriages have something like an 85% divorce rate!

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