Good Parent/Bad Parent

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Good Parent/Bad Parent
39
Wed, 03-03-2010 - 10:56am

A good parent does .............
A bad (lazy neglectful...) parent does.......

Fill in the ..........

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Fri, 03-12-2010 - 8:08pm

I pictured waiting out in a parking lot for the building to open. Given the facts given now it is something I possibly would do.

Loosing sleep was never the issue. Since I am the early bird and DH the night owl I have always taken care of any very early morning drop offs/pick-ups for our DDs and DH has always taken care of any late night ones.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2007
Sat, 03-13-2010 - 1:27pm
We have the same arrangement.

              *Praying for my best friend, my Dad*


 &n

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Sat, 03-13-2010 - 1:46pm

IMO, that depends on the thing that htey aren't doing.


Not taking the child to the circus, as promised, because they're sick or tired?


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Sat, 03-13-2010 - 3:40pm

In your first example you are comparing a need and a want.

"Not taking the child to the circus, as promised, because they're sick or tired? OK to put their needs first, as long as it isn't a habitual thing."

Needs should always trump wants. No circus.

In the second you mention one thing that could be a want and another that is need.

"Not feeding the child or changing diapers, etc, because they are sick or tired? Not OK."

Changing a diaper would be a need. Child's need trumps parent's need.

Feeding a child could be a need or want depending on the age of the child. If the child is too young to prepare food/feed themselves, a need. Again child's need trumps parent's. If the child is old enough to prepare food/feed themselves then having the parent to it becomes a want. Need trumps want. Perfectly ok to say "You are going to have to make your own dinner to night.

"For the most part, though, my position is that sick time is not a part of the parenting benefit package."

There is also nothing in the parenting manual that says that one cannot take sick time for themselves when possible.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Sun, 03-14-2010 - 3:37pm

The OP makes no distinction between wants and needs.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Sun, 03-14-2010 - 4:00pm

"The OP makes no distinction between wants and needs."

I know, that is why I brought it up because it does make a difference in whether the parents is bad one or not.

"Even if the child is old enough to prepare something to eat, it's still the parent's responsibility to ensure that the child has food available to eat and eats."

I don't agree. At 3 years old it is a parent's responsibility to make sure that the child has food available, prepares that food and make sure the child eats. At 13 years old it is still a parent's responsibility to make sure that the child has food available but not to prepare it for them or make sure that they eat.

"Depends on which edition you got. ;-) The key words there, though, are when possible. In the lives of most people I know, that possibility simply does not present itself. "

Again it depends on the age of the children. Infants, toddlers, preschooler pretty much never. Elementary still hard but not impossible. High schoolers not much of an issue.

The time frame when children are completely dependent on their parents for all of their needs it really only small portion of the years in raising a child. About 5 out of 18.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Sun, 03-14-2010 - 4:26pm

I recently had the most beautifully timed severe cold. It hit me on Tues. I work Weds-Fri and get paid sick, so I took those three days off work and let DS go to the childminder as usual.

By Saturday, thanks to sofa time and LOTS of Lemsip, I was almost completely recovered. Woot! Although getting up in the night with him was spectacularly sucky on those three days.




Edited 3/14/2010 4:27 pm ET by englishrose1979
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Sun, 03-14-2010 - 7:46pm

Are you saying that making sure that a child eats properly is not a part of a parent's role for as long as they're responsible for that child?


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Sun, 03-14-2010 - 9:30pm

"Are you saying that making sure that a child eats properly is not a part of a parent's role for as long as they're responsible for that child? "

I am saying that not doing that for absolutely every meal does not makes one a bad parent

Having total disregard for what a child eats, bad parent.

An occasional, fend for yourself, not a bad parent.

If a child is old enough to prepare their own food then saying to that child "I am sick, you will have to take care of feeding yourself tonight" does not make one a bad parent.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Sun, 03-14-2010 - 9:42pm
There have been times when one of my kids isn't home when dinner is served" usually for some school-related activity. When he gets home I will usually tell him that there are leftovers or he can make an omelotte or heat up some spaghetti sauce and make pasta or whatever. There is nothing wrong with teens getting their own meals as they get more independent.