Guilt

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Guilt
3763
Tue, 07-31-2007 - 10:20am

Why does the media portray working moms, always, as having guilt?


http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/family/07/30/hm.mommy.guilt/index.html


<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 5:15pm
People who judge you behind your back are not your friends.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 5:16pm

I love it when Cal will ask "why do I have to pick this up" about some mess in his room. I'll say "Did I make the mess? Didn't think so. Why should I pick it up?" Savannah doesn't ask that crap anymore. Cal's learning ... a bit slower, but he's learning.

Or he'll ask me to "help him" clean up his room (which means he wants me to do it for him). I'll say "Okay, but are you going to come help me fold all the towels? And write the checks for the bills? and weed the garden? After all, if I help you with yoru stuff, you should help me with mine ..." It *usually* shuts him up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 5:19pm
No, I'd say 8 hours per day isn't quite enough. If you want to be sure to really screw up your kids, you need them in care at least 9 or 10 hours per day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 5:20pm
im just not getting it.... my son is not much bigger than yours, he weighs like 36 pounds and is about 34 inches tall and he can carry all those things (other than a huge fire truck, he doesnt have one of those) he has even figured out how to pull them down the stairs, even the box of blocks which is heavy (those i do have to carry up the stairs for him)
my middle dd will be 9 next month she can pour out of the gallon milk container. does she sometimes spill a little, occassionally, but she knows how to get a towel and wipe up the mess. she makes her own sandwiches, except for steak cuts her own food, etc....
my kids are pretty self-sufficient in alot of ways and we all like it because it gives us plenty of time and energy to do the things we want to do.
you know, i havent washed my oldest dd clothes since she was like 12-13. my 9 year old can mow the lawn. it really is amazing what they can do if given the chance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 5:22pm
The moms get bored...why??...there is plenty to do!...but as you have seen over the years...it's an easy and a good excuse to be out of the home...so the next best thing for many is to get a job..kids will adapt to many things...it's the moms who start the ball rolling....I think it may have started from coffee mornings...you know...chatter chatter....and so on.:-)All I would say is that would be enough to bore me! :-).I would have plenty to do at home.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 5:29pm
My question is,and always has been this.....and I say again..why,when deciding to start a family...do women...then decide to go back to work??...and you know the rest...or perhaps it's all that chatter...that your not getting to read what I have said.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 5:44pm

I actually didn't mind "helping" when they were smaller if it just meant keeping them company and on track. My "helping" was usually something like changing the sheets or dusting the top shelves in their rooms on Saturday morning while they were picking up and dusting what they could reach. And I could be kind of friendly and say things like, "Wow! Look at all these socks under your bed! How about you get under and get those and I will put away the stuff in your top drawer." Stuff like that.

I think my kids were pretty competent with the necessary cleaning by the time they were seven or eight. DS#1 is a born slob and always will be slobby, and I give him some slack in his own bedroom. But even he needs to keep the shared spaces liveable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 5:58pm
Nope your wrong...it can either be learnt...or learned..depending where a person comes from...I don't know if you have learnt/learned the English language...you were suppose to say "I didn't learn" anything today...as for Tennessee,yes I totaly agree...I also prefer to refer to it this way...someone is a stranger and may very well become a friend..and you then you said everyone we meet is a stranger..I mean NOT everyone is waiting to be someones friend...was Tennessee an American perhaps?..(No really I guess he was a good guy)..anyway then I said....as mothers are in the Topic......that Mothers are not strangers...then Tennessee Williams came into it..and is seemed as if you were saying...that Tennessee was also refering to Mothers being strangers to their new born.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 6:00pm
Really? My 3 (7,10,12) need permission, though they're allowed to get their own once permission is received. My youngest ds' favorite meal or snack, is the next one; he would eat often if he could, though he is very active and thin. The other 2 are a little better, but unregulated meals and snacks would be anarchy in my house.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 6:09pm

We're lucky enough to have two fridges, one is in the mudroom and is dubbed the "snack fridge," and it is where I put stuff the kids are allowed to have unrestricted access to. It usually contains bottled water, lemonade, tea, fruit, yogurt, cheese, peanut butter, leftovers I am trying to hawk, and sometimes stuff like hardboiled eggs (if I am making a potato salad, for instance, I will usually boil a few extra and stick them in there for the kids.

We also used to keep our beer supply in there, and our kids of course knew it was off limits. Until one day when the older one was about twelve, he tells a friend that "We're allowed to have anything we want from the fridge in there." And the friend goes and opens the fridge, sees the alcohol and asks, in tones of awe, "Dude! Your parents let you have BEER?" At that point I decided the kids were growing up and moved the alcohol to a less accessible location.

Pages