Guilt

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Guilt
3763
Tue, 07-31-2007 - 10:20am

Why does the media portray working moms, always, as having guilt?


http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/family/07/30/hm.mommy.guilt/index.html


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 9:12pm
I've checked out full carts in the self checkouts, but I've had to wait forever to get to the register. And I only use them at Kroger...for some reason all the other stores' self chekouts annoy me to the point of stressing me out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 9:14pm

Don't hold your breath. I asked a similar question twice and have yet to have a coherent answer.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 9:18pm

LOL Maybe it's a spot somewhere near the poles. You know, where twilight can last for months?

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 9:21pm

While I haven't bought beer/wine at a self-check out, I don't get asked for id at all. They barely look up as they punch in the code. It can suck growing old. No longer getting carded and getting all that AARP stuff in the mail. I'll even qualify for the senior discount at IHop in October. I can't be old--my youngest is only going into 4th grade.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 9:31pm
curious what your shopping habits are then...i go on a once a week grocery run - spend between 100 - 130.00-ish on an *entire* cart full of groceries and lately,it has overflowed with bulkier items hanging on like thread. lol..but honestly,if my average run was only *about* 15 to 30-ish items,maybe half of that cart would be full. i'll try and count the number of items i shop for when i go this weekend.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 9:41pm
That is what I was trying to explain. My day is not that long at work but I do have times when I don't get up to go the bathroom either and have to work through lunch or late or even a Saturday. To me, I would find it much less stressful to run the kids to school and activities than to do that AND work.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 9:44pm
good rule of thumb. neither would we be. every house and overall budget has always been determined on *one* income,dhs....and i feel pretty good knowing that if i return to work,it can be for reasons i really want to not for reasons that i think would help some household budget. those arrangements are already in place.


Edited 8/3/2007 9:47 pm ET by egd3blessed

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 9:53pm

I'm not sure if you're just trolling or what (and maybe I'm still too post-partum-y to let it slide), but the "why have a child" thing is really offensive.

What I said in my post is that our choices as moms are complicated. I guess there are women out there (and reading some of these posts, I guess there are some here too) that feel completely great about whatever they've chosen in terms of their work status. But I think that most of us are conflicted about it on some level--how can we ever know 100% that what we're doing is the very best thing, given all the things that life can throw at us?

Right now, I've chosen to WOH. I got my Ph.D. and am working at a Research I university. I'm very proud of what I do and all it took to get me here, and I'm very very concerned about getting a similar job if I give it up (I get to WAH right now, as I'm not teaching--though it's not the kid of job you can do with little ones around). We could squeeze by for awhile if I stopped working, but I'm more concerned about finding another job. I don't think I'm cut out to be a SAH mom, but OF COURSE I love my children, want the absolute best for them, and weigh everyday the pros and cons of what I've chosen, and try to figure out how I can go get the kids sooner, do more work while they sleep, etc, etc. I may end up chucking the job--I don't know. I'm praying about it.

One thing I AM sure of, however, is that people who come down like a load of bricks on others because they don't like the (totally viable) choices they have made need to remove the sticks from their a**es and get on with their own lives. As I said before, there's plenty of guilt to go around--we don't need to dump on each other to ensure that there's enough.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 10:15pm

Funny that, we've always budgeted on one income, too. My dh and I make within a few % points the same income. We've both taken turns as sole support of the family for a period of time. Both of us have careers we enjoy and we worked hard to make them into wah flexible positions so that we both get to spend a lot of time with the kids.

The not-needed income is going to pay for expensive home renovations (mbanc, i could use you expertise ;-) that are nice to haves, not necessities.

BTW - I just took a "do as I please" day. DH took the kids to Boston Museum of Science and I sat by the pool and read the last Harry Potter book. Tommorow I take the oldest 2 to a reading club to discuss the book. My 9 and 12 yo read the book in less that 24hrs each, it took me considerably longer (but its worth it).

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 10:47pm

BS. All WOHMs contribute more than a paycheck, whereas no SAHMs do and they all have to make non-financial contributions. "

All, really? Well my DH isnt a SAHM, but he contributes financially a great deal. And I'd be willing to bet some SAHM's do too. He makes us money with his investment skills -- these are skills that he can use and SAH at the same time. Even SAHM's without degrees in economics and econometrics could contribute to the finances through good investing, maximizing portfolio's, etc.

" I would contribute much less overall to my household by SAH than by WOH - duh, that's why I WOH."

But that's just you PNJ. Not everyone. I agree that I too contribute more to my household by WOH -- and that's why I choose to do it. But not all SAH/WOHP's feel the same way.

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