Guilt

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Guilt
3763
Tue, 07-31-2007 - 10:20am

Why does the media portray working moms, always, as having guilt?


http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/family/07/30/hm.mommy.guilt/index.html


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 8:59am
What's wrong with the bus?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 9:00am
Would you consider unearned income "getting paid"?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 9:01am
You don't need to get a paycheck to be a WAHM.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 9:02am

Sav will have to get on the bus at like 6:50 (I think ...) for middle school. But driving her would be an 18 mile roundtrip drive. We did that same drive daily from Jan to May after we moved (middle school is next door to their old elementary school). It was BRUTAL! So, we're really hoping the bus works out. If not, we're going to try to carpool with other kids in the neighborhood so we only do the drive a couple times a week.

She'll get home about 4pm; one of us gets home about 5:15. I'm not too concerned with her being home alone for just over an hour.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 9:02am
Can you do your current job remotely?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 9:03am
Can't do it here. The high school and the middle school (only one of each) are about 10 miles apart. I think it was poorly planned, but that's how it is.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 9:04am

That's okay, I find it totally bizarre that a man who has the personality to work literally around the clock and who was an Olympic caliber athlete can find enough stimulation in life being a SAHD.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 9:07am
My kids walk to elementary school and will walk to high school.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 9:09am

True. No wrong decision has been made. But I think the theory that people only feel guilty when they have (or believe they have) made a wrong decision is not correct. A decision can be the right one and people will still feel guilty.

Perhaps they are aware they are going against what the culture sees as "right" even though they feel it's best for them personally. This would affect some SAHDs with a similar guilt to some WOHMs. Even though WOHM has become a cultural norm, the idea lingers that it is a "lesser of two evils" decison (that it is purely for financial security and not because mothers "should" work just as dads "should" work). That idea is at the core of so many MSAHM postings (that WOHM is the lesser of two evils and should be resorted to only to head off poverty) and is pretty strong in our culture and bound to linger for a few generations more. As well as the idea that all men should work and those who choose the SAHD route may feel a similar guilt about going against that even though it works for their family and is the right decision for their family. Since the media writes these "guilt" articles at the rate of easily one a day, resisting the cultural message that you SHOULD feel guilty takes an act of will.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
In reply to: peteynjoeysmom
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 9:14am

Can they bike? I may be a bit biased about biking, though, as I grew up in a town that had huge bike path system even back in the 70s/early 80s. I was biking to and from school by the time I was 11 or 12 (it was a good 2-3 miles each way).

I probably won't let ds or dd bike to school (until perhaps 9th10th grade) because they would have to ride through some seriously nasty city streets. There are bike paths, but I don't like the way the paths intersect with the car traffic. Public bus only takes about 10 minutes from the bus stop near our house to the bus stop near the school, so that's the way ds currently gets home from school, and dd will do the same when she is old enough.

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