Is is "hard" being a sahm?
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Is is "hard" being a sahm?
| Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm |
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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You could be right, but I just doubt the whole evolution process.
"....that if DH is in the mood and I am not, and I do give in I am usually glad I did. Do I ALWAYS give in...no. But I don't think it is fair to reject him either. Like I stated before...How would it make YOU feel if he rejected you?"
Why isn't it "fair" to reject him?
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Tell me how to fight a perfectionist and I might just run down to where you are and give you a big ol' hug.
Its normal for kids to have a range of strengths. Its also normal for kids to use their relative strenghts to compensate for their relative weaknesses in order to get learning accomplished. Its actually outright - perfect - that they do that.
Your dd is a whole language reader and the school system currently caters to her stengths. LUCKY HER. She lucked out. Its the kid who really sucks in that kind of area, and really needs the phonics symbol translation end of things...that is going to suffer in the current learning environment. You might rely heavily upon phonics to get you through...your daughter probably doesn't. I really dislike the "this way or that way" bias the educational system keeps trying to impose. Most seasoned primary school teachers will tell you...phooey. You use phonics, and sight recognition, and everything else in between, to help a class of 25 different kids, all learn to read. But that does not mean that your daughter sucks at phonics because she wasn't presented with enough of it. Maybe she was, maybe she wasn't. In the absense of other evidence - hard to say. BUT you also know she's a true whole language reader. So she's going with a strength which, whether it would cut it with you or not, is getting her most of what she needs with less effort than it would take her to go with YOUR strengtth. Probably. Just be happy its her, rather than you, who ended up in this version of "the right way to teach kids to read". Its not a big problem unless she can't read at an appropriate level or stops progressing at an appropriate rate. If there are no signs of problems...hey...get her into sylvan and get her some extra help to develop further in her weaker areas. Can't hurt. But no point in turning a non-problem into one. People learn different ways and most people don't learn all ways and don't achieve results all the same way. You won't turn an average kid, who is achieving through strength already, into an outstanding performer by working on a weakness. If lack of phonics exposure were holding her back to any great degree ... and those kids ARE out there ... she wouldn't BE a true whole language reader as a result of her current learning environment, she'd be a non-reader. You, and your kid, are on the winning end of the current bias. If she were exposed to MORE phonics, less whole reading approach, in school, she'd achieving LESS, not MORE than what she is. You may be another thing. But this isn't you. Its your kid.
Eventually you have to know how to decode words? Not really, unless your aptitude bias requires it in order to achieve reading and writing. People who can play instruments entirely by ear not need to learn to read music either to compose or to perform. Most of the population is going to learn to play one way or the other, given the chance, to some sort of average level. Both kinds of programs are out there, along with the combined approaches. A few really will benefit from one approach or the other. Most will end up just average, one way or the other. Your kid, figuratively speaking, it would seem, has a strength in playing by ear and is in a program heavily biased toward that kind of learning. She'll play just fine that way. GOOD THING she isn't in a program biased towards learning to play through reading music. Doing extra work on music reading won't hurt, but you aren't fixing anything because (luckily the way the cards fell) nothing is actually broken in her case. Though the kid who would learn best to play via reading music...is somewhat screwed without outside help. You seem to have the situation backwards. Yeah, they might all do a bit better with a more balanced approach...but the approach has been unbalanced forerver. Overall they'll end up reading just as well as previous generations. In my time kids who were truly whole readers were screwed...now kids who are truly phonetic readers are screwed. My guess is overall, the same vast proportion of manage to learn to read just as well one way, as the other. Not as well as if the approach were balanced...but it never has been.
Sure, a hug is always welcome.
Joke of the day:
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running down to give hug (might take me a bit...here...let me send it through the cyber world...(((Hug))))
I'm gonna praise that kid more often!
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