Is is "hard" being a sahm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Is is "hard" being a sahm?
2242
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 2:55pm
Why do you assume her POV is not biased?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 3:00pm
Accountability doesn't breed accomplishment at this stage. Because, she's not working for something she wants.

Don't get me wrong...keep her in the music lessons. Its a great brain development exercise and at some point...she may really take to it. I don't know if I've ever met anyone who regretted their hated childhood music lessons. The value usually makes itself clear.

But to get that effort=reward spark you are looking for now...she needs to be expending effort towards something shes views as a reward. Right now, she's learning mostly that no matter how hard she tries...she will never be her sister. It WILL backfire if it goes on. She really really really needs to find something where she can shine...all by herself without her sister in the picture. Actually, you are going to have to find it for her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 3:18pm
You aren't recognizing all the issues.

You've set her up in competition with a more talented sister. Yikes. Thats in music. Fine keep her there. But you aren't achieving what you think. She needs something where she can succeed and the sister isn't in the picture out shining her.

You are defining her weaknesses by your strengths. Yikes. Thats in school. Instead of looking at the child and moaning "you're a failure at phonics" try "sh*t girl, I don't know how you ever learned to read without assimilating a shred of phonics...more power to you. But we are getting you some extra work in phonics anyway because its totally missing and that can't be a good thing." You've all but told the poor girl her way of succeeding is actually failure because she manages differently than you do. You know, sometimes people whose brains don't get all tangled up in precise mechanics of language, or who don't rely heavily upon it...are actually the ones with an aptitude for learning new ones. My husband is a living, breathing, walking example. His formal technique sucks equally in two languages, one he didn't learn till his 20s. He can't decipher sh*t in either language. He can read and write and speak just fine in both. Spelling totally pathetic either way...if he hasn't seen it, he can't spell it. He can also play just about anything on anything by ear. Can't read a note. I think these things are probably related.

Your daughter will benefit if you can manage to recognize her relative strengths and build on those, rather than focusing so much on her relative weaknesses and trying to back fill them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 3:37pm

I happen to believe in self-suffiecency.

SUS

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 3:38pm

No I'm not incorrectly taking you

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 3:40pm
I disagree with everything Conservative Republicans stand for -- including "family values" -- but love my husband. Gun toting, Bush loving, O'Reilly listening, Drudge Report reader that he is.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 3:40pm
No, it's about not putting up with marital stress in addition to raising children, running a household, going to school and having a paying job.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 3:43pm
You have one of those as well?

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 4:01pm
Yes, you can join the one started by Jorvia and me. We swear we're married to the same man.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 4:08pm

Isn't everyone really a Republican in THEORY? I mean:


1) We don't need

Mondo

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