Is is "hard" being a sahm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Is is "hard" being a sahm?
2242
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 5:41pm
Because it's working.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 5:44pm
Actually no. She's an above average child performing average and yes, I don't agree with the Everyday Mathematics curriculum. I'm in good company. Egineers, mathemeticians and college math/science professors across the nation have stood up in opposition to this and other fuzzy math programs. This will not prepare dd for higher level math. To add insult to injury, she's my defeatest chld who would rather not try than face failure so she never succeeds even to EDM's minimal standard.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 5:45pm
You really want to keep pushing the piano lessons post-divorce? What will happen when dd finds out that the lessons were instrumental (ha ha) in the divorce? How will you explain to her that having piano lessons is MORE important than having Dad at home? ecause it isn't more important. The piano lessons are in danger of becoming a symbol to dd of why her parents are divorced. She is in danger of thinking the lessons cost her her Dad. And then how much of an advantage do you think the lessons will be to her?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 5:47pm
Dd is not a disaster in the making. I would, simply, consider myself a bad mother if I didn't address issues I'm aware of. I'm sure there will be enough that I'm not aware of until they're real problems.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 5:50pm
They're not. I only brought up her lessons to show that, at the moment, my schedule is hectic. The point was how rediculous dh's claims that HE is not appreciated are. People are making it sound like her piano lessons are the entire problem when they aren't a drop in a bucket.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 5:53pm
I never said it was the only thing. However, it is one thing. One thing she's already familiar with that appears to be working. Why change one activity for another when the one we're doing is handling what needs to be handled? What difference dose it make if I run to piano lessons or run to soccer practice? Running is running. If it ain't broke don't fix it. This is not broke. Whatever dd does will have to be something that forces her to have to work towards achievement. THAT is what she doesn't like so she won't like the new activity any better, however, we will have taught her to quit if you don't like something my making the change.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 5:55pm
That good parents do what needs to be done and that women do not have to tolerate their spouses trying to order them to be/do whatever just because they said so.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 5:57pm

Here let me help you with the portion of my post you haven't read very well:


Apparently, he doesn't agree with the activities and in essence, refuses to be the "bad guy" for his oldest.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 5:57pm
Never said they were a magic bullet. They're an assist. And we're dealing with a personality flaw here. It could be a LONG time. I was well into adulthood before I faced this issue. It's hard. Dd doesn't need to go there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 5:58pm
<<<>>> I hope they find something that works for you. I'm prone to depression/anxiety issues myself. Fortunately, Paxil works wonders for me.

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