Is is "hard" being a sahm?
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Is is "hard" being a sahm?
| Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm |
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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I think that's the
Mondo
I can't plan for retirement for both of us alone. I've been maxing out my retirement savings for years. Dh just started. MAYBE in 6-8 years, we'll be at the point he can retire (if he can put enough away in his retirement account that in conjunction with mine there's enough to guarantee my retirement, we can just live off of my income and not worry about saving for retirement. Of course then the girls college will be in jeopardy). We certainly won't be to where I can retire. That's, at least, 20 years off. The earlier dh retires, the longer I have to wait. If he retired now, I'd likely have to work until I die. One thing you have to remember is that anything dh does inherit from his parents bypasses me and goes right to the kids when he dies. He's counting on that for retirement but it won't be there to help me when he's gone. I'm on my own. And yes, I'm going to protect my own interest here. He simply doesn't have the right to lock me into working until I die because he wants to retire EARLY. The fact he married someone 12 years younger than him shouldn't be his EARLY retirement plan. You need to remember dh isn't 67 and chomping at the bit to retire, he's 57 (will be later this year) and wanting to retire EARLY with me paying the bill in more ways than one.
And you are correct, it is common for people to plan together. Dh's idea of planning together was him telling me he was quitting at 55 and I was going to support him until he dies. Prior to his announcement, there had been ABSOLUTELY NO discussion of early retirement. Any fool can look at our finances and see it's just not in the cards. Now he's on to plan B. Partial retirement at 62 1/2 when he can qualify for social security. That will work ok for him but I'll have to figure out how to pay the girls college tuition which is another thing he thinks we don't owe the girls. They can just do it on their own. They boys had college funds from dh's parents. They gave dh money to start one for dd#1 when she was born but they never did anything for dd#2. Dh decided that that was just a "recomendadion" as to what to do with the money. It's not really hers. Money has become a BIG issue to him. My take is we should set aside what dh's parents gave dd#1 and match it for dd#2. If you want to see sparks fly, just come over here when I suggest that.
BTW, while it doesn't pay much in interest, I LOVE the payroll deduction option for buying savings bonds. My girls will have something to go to college on whether dh likes it or not. That reminds me, I need to get a list of serial numbers to my sister in case something happens to me so she knows what the girls have.
Edited 5/20/2004 5:58 am ET ET by grimalkinskeeper
at least he enjoys the beer and cigarettes.
She doesn't enjoy the lessons, that is how I determined they are expensive.
Then you are not reading our posts very well.
Misty
The problem with this program is the people selecting it and the parents in love with it are looking at it through the eyes of someone who already has a mathematical foundation. All this enrichment would be great if it was enriching a solid foundation. They took dessert and made it the main course here. Yes, it would have been really nice if I'd had some of this stuff IN ADDITION TO what I had when I went to school but it just can't be taught IN PLACE OF what I was taught in school. You have to put yourself in the place of the child. IF I were a child who just didn't get long multiplication, maybe the egyptian algorithym might give me something to work with but why teach it as a main course in replacement of a method that MOST kids were able to master in the past???
I gotta go to work. I could go on all day about this program and how hard the fight is because people are star struck and think MORE MORE MORE is BETTER BETTER BETTER and NEW is always GOOD. ARRGHHHH.
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