Is is "hard" being a sahm?
Find a Conversation
Is is "hard" being a sahm?
| Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm |
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

Pages
Mondo
I've done just fine since my ex and I broke up. When my heart was breaking at the loss of our relationship, it wasn't because I had NO man...but because I had NO him. Specifically.
One day, maybe, I'll need some other specific man again. But I don't forsee ANY day when I can honestly say I need "a man" as if just any one will do.
He feels that you don't value him in any way. And nobody wants to stay married to someone who views them as totally worthless. All it seems he really wants is to feel loved and appreciated. And I don't see you as willing to accomodate him in ANY way. I don't think you can remain married to another person without doing SOMETHING to make them feel loved and wanted. Why would anyone want to remain married under such circumstances? If dh made me feel unloved and unappreciated I wouldn't want to stay married to him.
Making another person feel special is not kowtowing or being wimpy. It is simply an act of love that one person does for another because they know it makes the other person happy. A simple example in our home: Dh really likes fruit yogurt but he doesn't like the goopy fruit yogurts that come prepackaged. So I blend up some fruit and mix him up some fresh yogurt a few days a week. I do it because I love him and I know it makes him happy.
Why be married if not to make your partner happy?
Jenna
SUS
Jenna, I bet I can answer this one.
Mondo
plz dont think i am saying you are *the one* with the problem. that is not it at all, and if you dont have the gumption to go back at it, and have thrown in the towel, called it a day, and refuse to turn back, well, that is your decision, but i swear counseling and this book can help you understand others, and if it cant save your marriage, i promise, it can help you in the future as you go through life.
it sounds to me like you're hurting very badly inside, and too damn proud to let down your guard. just read the book if nothing else. it is very good.
You're 100% right, I know.
Mondo
Pages