Is is "hard" being a sahm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Is is "hard" being a sahm?
2242
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 7:29pm
So far, I haven't met one who can actually answer the charges against this program. Most just resort to name calling when they can't support their debate or walk away. I did get a classic response from one PTA member when I finally got it through her head that this program will not help our kids get to college. Her reply? "We'll MAYBE they need to change the way they teach math in college too"!!! She BTW probably never took a college math class. Most of the parents who have taken college math come around easily when I present the issues. It's the ones who didn't go beyond high school or didn't take math in college who don't seem to get it. AS was said above, they didn't like math so they think something new is in order. They judge the program by the fact their kids like it instead of by content. And kids do like playing games in school.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 7:31pm
So, what should I do about the fact dd#2 has about 30 points on her sisters IQ? Have dd#1 quit school because she can't compete??? My kids being different isn't reason to make them do totally different activities to avoid competition. And if they do decide to compete on their own, what's the problem? This is something kids will do regardless of activities if they're so inclined.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 7:35pm
Whether she enjoys them is not the issue. Whether or not they're good for her is. Same for the beer and cigarettes. A lot of good enjoying them is doing dh. He's had 3 minor heart attacks already. You'd think he'd quit.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 7:37pm
Thanks for the reference. Truth be told, I do sometimes wonder why I've stayed with him. This is just the straw that broke the camels back. I can do it all myself but I can't put up with the person sitting on his but complaining about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 7:38pm
I will keep my children's lives as close to normal as possible after the divorce. So yes, there is reason to continue piano lessons.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 7:39pm
On the other hand, I think things like that are lost on people like you and I.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 7:39pm
What grade will he be in?

Oh and it's not always as awful as it is here. Many districts supplement the program heavily with some going as far as to use EDM as enrichement activities. THAT I would like for my dd's. Chances are if they've been teaching it for a while, the teachers are figuring out it doesn't work and are taking corrective action. What's happening here is teachers have been ordered to use nothing BUT EDM.


Edited 5/20/2004 7:41 pm ET ET by grimalkinskeeper

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 7:44pm

I keep reading this thread and one thing that keeps popping up is:

PRIVATE SCHOOL


Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 8:15pm
I never did well in math until I got to calculus. At first I thought something was really wrong, lol. My reaction was "Cool, math they actually expect you to understand??". I did terrible with rote learning but I am so glad I had it. That is the foundation upon which everything else was built. I don't think people who never went on in math, to actually use it in a technical way, appreciate the value of achieving automaticity in arithemetic and how being forced to learn things certain ways can be benficial down the road. The egyptian algoritym will get you an answer but it won't prepare you to factor in calculus or balance equations in chemistry like memorizing your multiplication tables in order to do long multiplication). I can see where learning things like least common denomonator came in really handy in algebra and calculus (I'm not sure if the latest version of EDM teaches LCD but the 2002 version did not).

I love math. Now. I've always liked it but struggled though high school with it. It's like someone flipped a switch sometime after I graduated from high school and all of a sudden I could understand what I had struggled to memorize over the years but I was REALLY glad I had memorized what I had. One thing EDM fails to see is that understanding is dependent on the child's development. Experimentation to "discover" math is only good if the child is capable of discovering math. I look at this program and want to cry. I can guarantee I wouldn't have graduated from high school, let alone college if I had been taught this way. Before I reached the point of being physically able to understand, I NEEDED repetition. That's the one thing EDM has done away with. They don't even stay on topic more than a couple of days lest they bore the kids or create kids who fear math. It's more important that our kids LIKE math than actually be able to DO math. That is really sad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 8:23pm
Does whining count, lol. No, this child is simply not motivated (she's me all over again, I swear). Left to her own, she'd do nothing in either school or at home. She does the bare minimum of work in school and tries really hard to forget she has homework. The school makes this really easy because in 3rd grade they still hold the parents accountable for the child's homework. Instead of making her stay in for recess to do it, they send a note home to me. Kids learn so much better from the natural consequences of their actions. I told her teacher to make her stay in for recess and do any missed homework. TRUST me. She wouldn't miss more than a couple of recess'. She said she can't do that because it migh damage dd's self esteem???? SELF ESTEEM comes from accomplishment!! It's not handed to a child on a silver platter.

No, everything dd has ever tried she wanted to quit in short order. We have a rule, once you start, you finish. She'll whine to do something and then cry to quit a month later when she finds out it requires effort. Look at her choice to stay in piano next year. She whined and carried on about wanting to quit and I kept telling her to pick another instrument. When she figured out she wasn't just going to get to do nothing, she decided piano isn't so bad. What she really wants to do is nothing.

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