Is is "hard" being a sahm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Is is "hard" being a sahm?
2242
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 12:27am
No, no, not OWE. The days of those laws are passed, I think. (In many states it used to be criminal negligence to willfully refuse to financially support an indigent spouse. Of course, that was designed to protect women, but I think that there were a few cases where men successfully brought charges against wives.)

In your current case, of course you would not want to give like that just for the good of your relationship; but I was trying to illustrate that a big change in lifestyle is something that usually will require some sacrifice on the part of both partners. In a healthy marriage no one gets absolutely everything their way just because they demand it, but each person should sometimes get at least some of what they want, as long as they ask courteously. Simply refusing to even entertain the request shows as much lack of respect as flatly making demands or assumptions. You DID marry him, and presumably not for his money, and somewhere in there you promised to honor him. He may not deserve much respect at the moment, true, but would sinking to that level really help matters?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:03am

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-pssahwoh&msg=13309.1597



Also, I just have to point something out to you....YOU appear to be very worried about whether you or the kids are going to get his money.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:06am

ACtually, for a young child who you claim is lazy, with a defeatist attitude

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:37am

I'm sorry, I'm not feeling well and *really* am not up to debating, even though this IS a debate board! I don't doubt any of your responses, and if so inclined could probably counter with examples that would prove the opposite point.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 6:14am
My concern with my dd is her development not whether she's enjoying the ride. I will do what I think is best for her whether she likes it or not.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 6:16am
Still didn't say he can't retire until *I* retire. I said he can't retire until the finaces are there to insure my retirement. Not touching the accounts while I continue to work makes sense. There will be no need to touch them until I retire. We can live off of my income in the mean time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 6:18am
You don't think a child who is defeated before she starts would rather do nothing?? Trust me. That would be her choice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 6:19am
No, I don't need him to do what needs to be done. Why is that even an issue? If he wanted to be a part of what is going on, he could be.

Tell you what. We'll place 100% of the blame on me and get divorced. Happy now?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 6:21am
I'm not looking to save mine. I'm looking to understand why I didn't leave long ago as I should have. Obviously, I have issues for staying as long as I did.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 6:23am
Which is why parents need to figure out what is wrong and take corrective action.

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