Is is "hard" being a sahm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Is is "hard" being a sahm?
2242
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 1:11pm
ITA. The more that CLW posts, the more frightened and saddened I become for that child (really, for both DDs, but it sounds as though DD#1 is bearing the brunt of her mother's
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 1:22pm

Wow, you are really unbelievable. Please list ten positive things about your DD#1. Then, for goodness sake,

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 1:31pm

When Zak was in therapy, I had to fill out a form about behaviours.

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 3:57pm
ITA. OMG. What, is she jealous of the kid's looks or something?!?

CLW, I recommend that you plan some one-on-one time with older DD NOW. Not to harass her about what she's doing wrong, not to plan out her future. Just go for a walk with her, or take her to a movie. Why don't you get to know this kid a little? You might find something lovable about her after all.

Congratulations! I'm so happy to hear it. I just heard the good news and popped back over, just in case you were still checking in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 4:01pm
Please. How many years of piano lessons has she had? There's got to be a law of diminishing returns here.

Once you figure out that each key corresponds to a sound, and that the sounds themselves are related numerically to each other in such a way as to create harmonies or dissonances, there's not much more insight into mathematics that you can get from piano lessons. Especially if you don't enjoy them.

Congratulations! I'm so happy to hear it. I just heard the good news and popped back over, just in case you were still checking in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 4:04pm
<<(she's me all over again, I swear)>>

Are you really that narcissistic? Your daughter is a whole, unique person, the likes of which this world has NEVER seen before. She's not your reflection in a mirror, for God's sake. Get over yourself.

Congratulations! I'm so happy to hear it. I just heard the good news and popped back over, just in case you were still checking in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 4:23pm
I had to chuckle quietly as i read your post. I could have written just about every word -- and i'm a WOHM.

lol.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 4:26pm
I got that. I'd just like to understand what the hell's wrong with me that I've stayed in this marriage this long. Things had to get pretty pathetic for me to see that staying in this marriage is going to be far more harmful to my dd's than leaving.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 4:28pm
Teaching my dd to work around her own issues. We all have areas of difficulty we must learn to face if we're going to be successful. Dd's is her fear of trying. Her opinion of herself as a failure before she starts. Yes, I think that is something to be corrected in a child who is quite capable.


Edited 5/21/2004 5:39 pm ET ET by grimalkinskeeper
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 4:29pm
I have two thoughts here. One is that when children are young, they need help understanding what they are signing up for when they choose their activities. "Oh, you want to take dance? Well, that means you will go to dance class for an hour every week after school and learn to dance. You will learn ballet and tap and you will be dancing to music the teacher chooses. It is different that twirling around in your bedroom to your favorite song. You will not be wearing a fancy costume and make up to the lessons. You will be expected to attend class whether you feel like it or not. Let's go to a lesson and see if it is really what you think it will be." If you make her sign in blood that whatever she starts, she must continue, make sure there is a really good understanding what the activity is really like. I have six hundred interests and I find it difficult to stick to one at a time and I would sure as hell resent anyone who forced me to finish my knitting project before I could move on to potting plants!

My other thought is that maybe you have a child who really needs to be doing nothing. Maybe she needs time to think and do quiet stuff at home. Maybe she is not getting what she needs from her life of school, tutoring, lessons and the constant demands on her time. I have a child like that who starts to fall apart when he doesn't get an hour or two of "imagination" time every day. Could your dd just want some time to think her big thoughts? I would consider giving her a semester "off."

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