Is is "hard" being a sahm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Is is "hard" being a sahm?
2242
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 4:57pm
She doesn't take a self esteem beating. Do you think I berrate her about her attitude all the way to and from piano lessons or something? No, I tell her over and over again that she CAN if she TRIES.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 4:59pm
Yes you can wipe out benefits but we're not. When you actually see the benefit, you have a pretty good indicator that you haven't wiped out the benefit. As long as we see benefit, we will continue unless dd wants to pick something else but she won't do that until she gets over her defeatism. It's too scary to start something new.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:01pm
No, she really DOES need someone to feel sorry for her. And even if she didn't, I would anyway. Any child labeled a "quitter" by her own mother--the same mother who is, apparently, incapable of saying ANYTHING nice or wonderful about this child--is deserving of my sympathy and sorrow.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:02pm
You have no idea what you're talking about. Dd#1 is still playing well above her sister. You keep trying to introduce some competition that just doesn't exist. NEVER have I heard dd make a derrogatory comment about her sisters talent. She's pretty oblivous to that fact her sister is more talented than her because she doesn't really remember how she did on the pieces her sister is doing now. She just likes to show her sister how to play her pieces because she already knows them. The jealousy is actually the other way around. It's dd#2 who bemoans the fact that dd#1 got to learn all the pieces first! You don't have a clue here. You might want to actually meet my kids and see how they interact before making a dignosis Dr.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:07pm
Yeah there is a TOTAL disconnect here.

You can also negative any beneficial effects by not having any concern whether she enjoys it or not. It's the shoving it down her throat whether she enjoys it or not that I'm disagreeing with not the fact of choosing piano for all of its beneficial effects.

But I think someone, many people, already explained that in great detail.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:09pm
Yes. That's almost exactly what you do. It teaches her that you care enough to find something that she enjoys.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:09pm
While there is value to letting a kid be a kid (which is why dd is out of Sylvan for the spring/summer in spite of the fact she'd be on grade level if she stayed in by September), there is also benefit from activities like music lessons and tutoring. You have to balance things. For example, when dd's testing came back indicating a need for working in both math and reading, I opted to put her into tutoring for both subjects in back to back sessions instead of switching off subjects because that gives us the option of taking breaks like we are now. I think kids need certain types of activities and I think they need time to be a kid. Unfortunately, you can't, simultaneously, do nothing and do something. You have to decide what balance you are going to strike.


Edited 5/21/2004 5:58 pm ET ET by grimalkinskeeper
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:12pm
Then why are you talking about it here for a week and 1800 posts?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:16pm

Gee, what a surprise. You didn't

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:36pm
Doesn't appear to be working. Just appears to be a sad situation from what you've put out here & said.

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