Is is "hard" being a sahm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Is is "hard" being a sahm?
2242
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:37pm
Because I'm right and I'm not going to listen to people telling me what an awful mother I am. I do what I do FOR my dd not TO her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:38pm
Just to hear herself talk & no one physically in front of her to tell her she is wrong. She can handle being told she is wrong via posts better than IRL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:39pm
LOL, I don't owe anyone here any kind of list. The minute I posted one, it would be flame bait. That's the only reason it was asked for. At this point, no matter what I say, I'm an awful mom.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:42pm
And you would know better than I if what I'm doing for MY dd is working or not, woudln't you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:42pm
Is there anything in this life plan for something SHE wants to do? And I don't just mean choice of intsruments or choice of languages, but choice of ANYTHING in the broad world out there that isn't on some very short menu you made for her. A childhood devoid of activities of her own choosing is tragic. My own was certainly much better than that because I had wiser parents (I should send them this post) who let me pick my own activities.

Success in life comes from more than just slogging through chores. It comes from WANTING to do something. People who are really succesful are following their passion, not just putting their nose to somebody ELSE'S grindstone.

I've heard that Jimi Hendrix was so in love with the guitar that he even took it into the bathroom so he could practice while on the can (what an image). Practise in something that is a passion doesn't cause tears. It causes joy, accomplishment, and success.

'Bend It Like Beckham' is a great movie about a girl who chooses her own path. If you can't get anything out of it, maybe older dd will.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:43pm
LOL, a child who quits at the first sign of having to actually work is a quitter and it IS something to be dealt with not ignored. Hopefully, in time, dd will learn.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:45pm
From what you have shared with us here in what now over 1800 posts, I think you have been offered some good advice but not willing to admit that other's may have a better idea than you. JMHO

Of course, you don't seem to think you are wrong about anything, this with your dd isn't the only subject...look at the issues with other things you have posted about, starting with your dh.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:46pm
I said it was within his power to assist in the situation he's complaining about. He chose not to do that. He chose to tell me I need to change instead and handed me a highlighted copy of the instruction manual. He wants me to quit doing what I'm doing and cater to him instead. For what I don't know, well I do, so he can slack off.

This has been a really good thread for me. I needed some motivation to get off of my butt and file. I am so not looking forward to the fight that is coming when he gets served. Right now I wish I could fast forward past that one. In time he'll realize that this is the right thing to do. I am not the person he wants to be married to her. By Christmas, he'll be free to go find her.


Edited 5/21/2004 6:00 pm ET ET by grimalkinskeeper

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:47pm
Can I just say you are right, right, right, oh so right!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:48pm
No I don't think I'm wrong. If I thought I was wrong, I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing, now would I?? I see what I'm doing working for my dd in more ways than one. People who don't even know my dd have declared I can't possibly see what I see. Let's see, who should I listen to? Myself who actually knows my dd, attends lessons with her and practices with her or people who've never met her yet tell me I'm a liar when I say that what we are doing is working? Gee, that's a tough one.

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