Is is "hard" being a sahm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Is is "hard" being a sahm?
2242
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:49pm
Resorting to attacking the poster again I see. Nothing intelligent to add to the debate?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:50pm
Shaking my head at the way she is about it! Thankfully, my dd would never have to worry about me treating her this way, not in a million zillion years, no way!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:53pm
However, we ARE seeing benefits. THAT tells me we are NOT negating them by some board imagined hatred for what she's doing. There is a lot of grey area between enthusiastically volunteering for an activity and hating it so bad you can't stand it. Dd is not enthusiastic but still benefits from the activity. Music is an important part of education. If it's not piano, it will be something else. She's choosing to stay with the instrument she knows. That is her option. Quitting altogether is not an option.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:53pm
Taylormomma has offered you more than ample intelligent information but you think you are right about it all and won't see the handwriting on the wall then there is nothing she, Opinion, Hank & Indy, Jorvia, Outside Box, or any of the other fine ladies here can offer you. Not help with your dd or your dh!

You seem to be one of those people who are always right, never wrong....................hmmmm, may want to rethink t hat position. Eh?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:54pm
Well, obviously it isn't right either & these fine ladies have been trying to get you to see what you won't admit, because being wrong about your dd is, well, just not something you would admit.

It isn't a tough one, you are just denying reality.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:56pm
Sure. She can pick the activies within the categories. She will learn a musical instrument. She will learn a foriegn language. She will study science in high school. She can do a sport if she wants. She will be in some kind of group activity in high school. She can choose which ones she likes within the categories and any other activities she wants to do in addition to the required ones. Certain things are just too beneficial not to do them. Like going to school. She does not like going to school but I'm going to make her go anyway. I guess that's probably going to scar her, lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 6:01pm
Posting what you see as her strengths and positive qualities wouldn't be flamebait, although it would generate a lot of responses. My prediction is that those responses would be suggestions of activities that would play to those strengths. You already did let slip that she is very social and OP123 jumped on that sliver of compliment to suggest team sports. A list would generate more suggestions.

It isn't that there is anything inherently wrong with music lessons or tutoring, it's that all activities seem focused on shoring up her weaknesses. An activity that she chooses from ALL possibilities (not just ones you think she ought to do) would do a world of good.

You can map out this life plan of success for her but if she isn't on the same page as you, she'll just be a clerk at Starbucks out of spite. (Or a bartender, as a frind of mine who was similarly raised did.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 6:46pm

Then why in the world are you labeling her a quiter?????


It is completely NORMAL for a YOUNG child to not want to do something that appears to be work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 6:49pm

Whatever happened to kids going down a slide and laughing?


Why do you feel the need to put so many "musts" on them?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 7:42pm
LOL, But is is right for my dd!!! There's no reason to fix something that is working.

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