Is is "hard" being a sahm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Is is "hard" being a sahm?
2242
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 11:05pm
Do tell what is not working? Dd doesn't have to be in love with an activity for it to be good for her. Lots of things are good for us we don't even like. Dd, at least, likes showing off to her sister because she already knows all the pieces her sister is learning and she likes showing off to her friends at school. She doesn't like to practice. Sounds pretty typical to me. It's kids like her sister who just take to an instrument like a duck to water who are unusual. However, that doesn't mean this is not a good acivity for dd to be in. People here are trying to equate liking an acitivity with it's value and you can't do that. Many things we like are not worthwhile and many we don't are. Value is determined by what you get out of something not how much you enjoyed doing it.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 11:11pm

<<So do tell how my defeatest attitude manifests itself in my life?>>


It manifests right here. I've addressed it in other posts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 11:12pm
I couldn't disagree with you more. Individuals have their own abilities. Few of us are truely talented. That IS a fact of life. You do the best with that you have. That you don't have what someone else has is just a fact of life. I don't begrudge my sister her talent any more than my dd begrudges her sister her talent, which BTW, she doesn't even understand the nature of yet because her sister is now learning pieces she learned 2 years ago and she doesn't remember how long it took to learn them. She just likes showing her sister how they're played because she already knows them. Dd loves showing off what she already knows.

It would be unhealthy to think that everyone has to find something they excel at. Not everyone excels and there is nothing wrong with that. Most of the kids in dd's music class are right where she is. She can see that she's the norm. IF she sees her sister as different, and I don't think she does yet because she's still the one teaching her sister her pieces, she will realize that few kids are like her. My sister being more talented than me was not reason for me to quit piano nor is it reason for my dd to quit. It just means in a couple of years, the help will be going the other way. I learned a lot from my little sister. She does irritate me though. She got all the talent and she never plays, lol.

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 11:13pm

Too late - I already used the babbling line on you. Try to at least come up with something original. That was yesterday's line.


By the way - I'm not babbling. I have no doubt it appears that way to you, given your bizarre responses to my posts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 11:15pm
ROTFLMAO, I told you EXACTLY why average performance is not acceptable. Average performance in a C- curriculum is dismal!!! It will not prepare dd for courses like algebra later. I'd be worried if she was doign A work in this program. This is why average performance is not acceptable. I've also told you why she needs to do better. Learn to read.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 11:17pm
Good job of dodging the question, lol.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 11:58pm
No dodge. I addressed it very specifically and just didn't feel like repeating myself. I'm sure you'll run across it.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 12:00am

And once again, I DIDN'T SAY SQUAT ABOUT AVERAGE PERFORMANCE.


Do you honestly not understand the difference between "on grade level" and "average"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 7:18am
Go ahead, but don't be @*@*@ off when she grows up & not only refuses to ever play the instrument but rebels with you on everything else. It just could happen, it is a possibility.

My mother would love it if I would own a flute & piano after all the lessons & practices she made me do. I just did these because she forced me to do it. I hated them. I refuse to play either & I will not be teaching my dd. If she wants to learn, she will be given lessons. Not from me either!

I nixed the other things she wanted me to do.

These days. We have a non-existent relationship. When we do talk she always brings up the things I didn't do that she always insisted I do, the whole fight starts over, dinner is ruined!

Good luck. If your dd rebels one of these days you will wish you did things differently.

But I doubt you will ever admit it, that just isn't you from how you post about yourself lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 7:19am

Listen to yourself.

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