Is is "hard" being a sahm?
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Is is "hard" being a sahm?
| Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm |
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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Why would she want to choose another activity -- you'd immediately dismiss her choice as "flitting from activity to activity." How many activities has she proposed that you've dismissed in this way? Why on earth would she bother -- she's damned if she does and damned if she doesn't.
And you call HER lazy? LOL. Finding enriching activities that your kids enjoy is one of the most basic obligations of a parent. Why don't you just get up and DO it, instead of spending hours and hours explaining why you can't do it?
I cannot abide laziness. I really can't. It's my little pet peeve, I think, probably because I battle my own tendencies in that direction. But a parent who won't get off her behind to help get her kid out of what sounds like childhood depression makes me ill.
How about, your husband gives you a book and you divorce him? Sounds pretty defeatist to me.
Like this:
"Sorry, I have enough on my plate without having to go through the activity of the month club to see if she *happens* to excel at something." . Defeatist.
Significantly:
"I doubt she will." Defeatist.
And for the kicker:
"Not all kids excel at something and, so far, there's no indication she does." Defeatist.
It's not about time at all. It's about you.
Time to break the chain. You can revisit your issues with a therapist. Don't fix them through her. Maybe she'll want to come down to dinner with you then.
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