Is is "hard" being a sahm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Is is "hard" being a sahm?
2242
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 12:33pm
Running for drama queen here??

Doing things you don't like is not synonomous with having a horrible life. So dd doesn't like to spend 20 minutes practicing. How does this color the rest of her life? Like it or not, some things that are good for us aren't things we're chomping at the bit to do, but you do them anyway. What would you propose I do about the fact my dd doesn't like going to school or doing homework? Let her pick an activity she likes, LOL. I don't think so. The benetif of an activity isn't always it's enjoyment level. And doing one activity you don't like doesn't mean your whole life is unhappy. It means you're not at your happiest while you're doing that activity.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 12:35pm
So how do all those years of flute & piano lessons benefit me when it has been years since I've picked up a flute or touched a piano, I refuse to play, I refuse to have either in my house and I am a homemaker which I don't need to know how to play a piano or flute in order to design & make my own dress, cook a flashy gourmet meal, put together fresh flowers for our nightly candlelit dinners, or to start the grill to cook the salmon?

Yes, I can see where that flute & piano has been so beneficial! Not!

My brother uses those violin & piano lessons to run 3 restaurants daily with those 3 semesters of college that he didn't go to class half the time also.

My sister doesn't use her three music lessons she was forced to take all those years & she didn't go to college but yet is a successful career woman!

I might would put in some tomato plants & use the flute as a stick but that is it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 12:37pm
You can keep the tiara for drama queen dear. Not my thing!

Trust me. I had a mother like you. I know what your dd is living thru!

My whole childhood was bleak from being forced to do two musical lessons, participate in team sports, excel, excel, excel in studies. I won. I got out at 18 and have been happier than I could ever imagine being and so did my my sister & brother, we all won, lucky for us! Mom lost.....she lost big time! She knows it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 12:38pm
Hmm. I don't see that is one your senses from your postings here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 12:43pm
How about creativity for one? You don't have to continue to play into adulthood to reap benefits from having learned. Just like you don't have to speak a second language learned in high school/college to reap benefits from having learned it. Everything you learn trains your brain to work a different way. The more ways it can work the more plastic is is. There is a link between learning to play an instrument as a child and success later in life. I don't know whether it's the sense of personal accomplishment or that it develops areas of the brain associated with math/scienc/logical thought. Doesn't matter why when the results are there. Musical training isn't just for prodogies. It's for everyone. Just like art isn't just for the artist. Things like these enrich our lives.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 12:45pm
You're right. It is rather sad that parents here can't see value in any activity their kids aren't in love with. Their kids are going to miss out on a lot of beneficial life enriching experiences.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 12:46pm
Why? Because I think that things that benefit dd should be done? Now THERE's a bad trait in a mother if ever I saw one.

You can have dh. He'll be getting his papers in the next week or so.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 12:46pm
I was designing & sewing my own clothes before I knew how to play mary had a little lamb on the piano or flute!

I was cooking fine dinners from hard recipes before I accomplished either!

I had the creativity gene without needing the musical attributes.

I do use my foreign french language to read recipes, comes in handy. Only thing I use it for.

There was no personal accomplishment on either instrument. In fact, I can't play twinkle twinkle little star on either. I went to practices, I went to lessons, I just refused to do it. I may could still play mary had a little lamb. Although, I highly doubt it, I left that behind with my mom on my wedding day!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 12:49pm
Try reading what I've posted instead of what others are reading into it. There is nothing wrong with having kids participate in benefical activities even if they'd rather do nothing. A child not chomping at the bit to do something and greetting it with enthusiasm is not reason to have them quit said activity. Dd approaches homework like she approaches piano practice. Should we have her quit doing that too?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 12:52pm
I would be very disappointed if dd never bothered learning how to take care of herself. I don't care what she does but I care that she is prepared to take care of herself and any children she brings into this world. I would consider her irresponsible if she chose to major in home economics. You never know when job skills will come in handy.

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