Is is "hard" being a sahm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Is is "hard" being a sahm?
2242
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 2:40pm

"Yes, the fortunate mom can force or sometimes easily schedule dual-napping. I've never heard of that among my sahm friends, even those into CIO or Ezzo parenting. "


If you follow Weissbluth, napping is at 1 pm every afternoon, whether the child is 1 or 3 years old.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 2:43pm

That's it only two points?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 2:45pm
ROFL!

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Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 2:46pm
Lots of SAHMs have more than two hours a day without the children. It's called "the kids are in school." If I was a SAHM I'd have lots more time to myself. Not every SAHM has toddlers or babies.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 2:46pm
Hey they have a name for my style of parenting in regards to naps?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 2:47pm
Does that work? I don't put my children in for naps until they show signs of tiredness. I've even seen them tired, they fight it (i.e., cry) and then I know the nap has to be later that day. Mine rarely play in their rooms until they've given up naps, so I can't imagine them "resting." But, I guess it's a book I should've considered.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 2:48pm

When I *was* single?

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2004
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 2:48pm
Well, I can understand where you are coming from. If I lived in a place where I had been for the past 4 years, knew the area, the people, the fun things to do, and had things close to home I would be loving staying at home even more than I do now. I am not saying I don't like staying home, I really do love it. However some days it can be very hard. Take today...I get up at 7 (not bad) and get my son ready for school. Normally we walk the 1.5 miles to school along with a friend. I was blessed with the car today, so we got to drive! Since I had the car I also drove the friend to a dr. appt. Since we live 40 minutes from our Base we then drove to base, did some shopping and grocery shopping. This was all really nice, relaxing...no kids, they were at school. Well then I get home with 1 hour until I need to pick my son up. I let the dog out to go potty, realize the cat has peed on the bean bag, and I still need to put the groceries away. So I put the groceries away...make sure the dog (puppy) has gone to the bathroom outside, give her a treat, catch the cat, scold the cat, clean up the cat pee, turn around and the dog has pood on the floor! So I clean that up, along with the messes she made in the laundry room where she was locked up when I was gone. I get in a load of laundry, load the dish washer, empty the dryer, do some dishes by hand, and then get the dog to go pick my son up. I took her with me so she could get used to being in the car. I pick my friend up, we get the kids. I come home and take the dog outside again to go potty. She comes in and sleeps awhile. I help my son with homework and the dog wakes up...I take her outside and she wont go. I bring her in and 2 minutes later she goes in the dining room. So then I am cleaning up again. Then I change laundry (my laundry cycles take 1 hour at least and dish washer as well). Get dinner in the oven. Hubby gets home, we eat, I clean dinner up, make tomorrows lunches and finally get to sit down for a few minutes at the computer. My day didn't start out stressful, but I am now ready to go soak in the bathtub for awhile. I am blessed with a pretty well behaved son, so that doesn't give me greif. My husband and I have a wonderful relationship, so that doesn't either. He is very helpful around the house. But yes, being a stay at home mom is a job, and some days can be harder than others. Just like working in an office. Some days you have everything done and sit there...that isn't hard. Not to mention we have lived in 4 different countries in the past 2 years. I have been in England since September, in a house since October, but since my husband has only been here half the time we still aren't unpacked. I also like to do things for myself once in awhile. I like to have time to unwind and read at the end of a day. Often I don't have that time after cleaning up, packing lunches, doing dishes and laundry. I love to garden, however that is also set on the backburner. Of course I would have even less time for that if I worked full time. I also go to school full time and need time each day for homework. My point being, each persons story is different. Some may have it much easier, and so no, being a SAHM isnt hard for them. But each person's situation should be assessed before we pass judgement or make snyde comments...walk a day in their shoes, and count your blessings. It is great if it is easy for you. It will benifit your children in the long run. As will your willingness to show them that every persons situation is different and shouldn't be prejudged. Not everyone wears the same size shoe...walking in their own may feel fine to them, but for you it could pinch. I haven't really heard it is the hardest job on earth, but maybe the most underapreciated one.
Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 2:48pm
I have worked out my schedule so I work through lunch hours (eat at my desk) and then am able to schedule my time so I'm off early twice a week to pick the boys up from school.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 2:49pm

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

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