Is is "hard" being a sahm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Is is "hard" being a sahm?
2242
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 2:52pm

I forget....how old are your kids?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 2:54pm
Uh, no. Laura, the un-medical doctor, gets reamed because she's a hypocrite. You'll notice it's not HER fault she slept with a married man (her current husband who was married WITH children at the time of the affair); it's the fault of ATHEISM...like atheists run around habitually having affairs. She tells people not to work when they have kids...while she works while having kids.

She...and you...can spin doctor that kind of behavior into the realm of "morality" all you want, but that doesn't make it moral and it DOESN'T make her uncharitable, hyper-judgmental, holier-than-thou personal attacks on the radio acceptable or appropriate. Heck I KNOW why she does it; because if she were kind, and sensible and humble, no one would listen to her. She's just as much a mercenary shock jock as Howard Stern--and every bit as offensive. But she doesn't have the courage to simply admit that she pulls her schtick for the almighty dollar...no no it all has to be wrapped in some 'family values" pap, complete with all the liberal bashing (like it's the fault of liberals she's judgmental and hypocritical) and served up as some kind of "more excellent way."

No thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 3:00pm

Dr. Marc Weissbluth changed my life.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 3:00pm
WHO FREAKING GETS PAID FOR LUNCH???????????? I have NEVER EVER worked for any employer, outside the military, who pays during the lunch period, whether it's the 30 minutes I get now, the 45 minutes I got at my first civilian job or the occasional 1 hour I got at other jobs betweent those two. Never.

And the executives I worked for only 'get paid" for lunch because they're not billed hourly. But the one who doesnt' make that time up won't be getting paid AT ALL for very long. Lunch time breaks DO NOT count towards work hours.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 3:02pm
But you ARE in a situation where you could take an hour away from your kids.

You simply choose not to. doesn't make SAH harder than WOH, any more than WOH is harder than SAH. They're both just hard in different ways.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 3:03pm
>>>Then I guess I'm even more pathetic than you imagined. Indulge me, and explain just how sad my life is. I'd be interested to know.

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Your words, not mine. My post was in response to this statement by you, only: "Many sahms, like myself, have husbands who aren't home until after bedtime."

I find that extremely sad on many levels. If a husband isn't home until after bedtime, when does a wife get time with her husband? When do his children get time with their dad? When does dad get time for himself? Why in the world a family would CHOOSE that arrangement is COMEPLETELY beyond me.

I see and place great importance of family time beyond the weekends and husband & wife time beyond bed. I also find importance in individual time beyond time spent at work.

My husband and I have hobbies we like to enjoy beyond work, and have structured our lives such that working doesn't stop us from participating in anything other than work and sleep.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 3:05pm
I didn't even notice that in her post. FTR, I don't get *paid* during my lunch hour. But

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 3:09pm
Yep. I could *choose* to take a me lunch break more often than I do. (I can't choose to do it everyday, as I often have work commitments during lunchtime). I *could* have taken lunch for myself Tuesday; I *chose* to go to the PTA meeting. I'm glad I chose the PTA.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 3:46pm
YEP.

PumpkinAngel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 3:52pm
It probably won't surprise you to hear that SAHPs who have older kids have had younger kids. My son wasn't born 10 years old. Each phase of childhood has it's own challenges, trials and tribulations. While older ones are not as physically demanding as younger ones they do still require a good bit of your attention and there are so many more things that occupy your time as the kids age.

Having WOH ft, WAH pt, and SAH I feel I am VERY qualified to comment on the pros and cons of all work status at different phases of child development. IME SAH is a bit more monotonous, but easy. WOH is a bit more stimulating, but difficult to juggle. Your experience may differ from mine and you are entitled to your own opinion, but please don't tell people they are not qualified to enter the debate simply because their kids are no longer little.

Remember, parents of older kids know what it is like to have a 2 year old. Parents of younger kids have NO IDEA what is like to have an older kid. Kids change but they still need their parents even as they age.

Jenna

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