Is is "hard" being a sahm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Is is "hard" being a sahm?
2242
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 7:06pm
Actually DD1 has 2 jobs and like I posted below DD2 is looking.

The issue is not getting time alone but getting time alone when we have the run of the house. That is the great thing about having older kids, they go away and leave you home alone. But it has been awhile since that has happened.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 7:49pm
Not sure what you'd be "flaming" me about?

There is an obvious difference between a parent in the military (which would affect the hours that spouse has with his/her family dramatically) while the other parent is home, and one parent choosing to work until after bedtime every night so that the other parent doesn't have to work. One, obviously, is much more of a choice than the other. When a spouse is in the military, your family has much less control over the time spent together - I understand that. I don't believe the OP of this subthread was talking about military situations, but rather situations in which the family chooses to have one parent work extra long hours (home every night after bedtime) in exchange for one parent staying home.

I commented, (and went on to elaborate as to why), that I find that lifestyle *choice* to be sad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 8:11pm
My DH takes at least 4 wks vacation. He takes at least 1/2 day on most Fridays in the summer (that's not included in the 4 wks). He doesn't get into the office until about 9:30/10:00 a.m. each day, so we get him for at least one to one and-a-half relaxed hrs (he's not busy showering, getting ready for work) in the morning.

He usually doesn't work weekends. He takes at least 2-3 days each mth. in the summer to play golf.

This summer, we have a 2 wk family vacation planned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 8:16pm

Oh I do agree...On the flaming thing though I didnt want you to think that I was upset or anything....LOL...sometimes when I am dealing with the three hellions at the moment my (my son has been a pain since his dad has been gone) typing sometimes comes across as more forcefull than I ment it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 8:38pm
Then you do have a chance to get "me" time during the day, in the morning.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 8:53pm
Like WOHMs, I use that time to shower, get in a load or 2 of laundry and maybe some other chores. I'm not sure what me-time I could really get between say 6:30 and 7:30 am before DH starts to get ready for work. It's not really a great time of day, like lunchtime, to go off and read a book in Rockefeller Center (my old days), run errands or shop for clothes. I'd rather shower.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 8:57pm
I think you're being used.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 9:03pm
At first I found you to be completely unconvincing in your lame effort to describe as sad parents who work long hours. Now, you are wholly inconsistent in that your criticism apparently lies only against non-military personnel, for some reason. Again, you are nonsensical.

You just can't have it both ways. In fact, you haven't made any argument why woh long hours is "sad." The only thing you've done is explain why it doesn't work for your family. If you want to show why it's sad, explain what I, my DH and my children are missing out on because DH works past 9 pm. You just can't because we miss out on nothing. For many reasons, if DH had only a 9-5 job or, yikes wah, our entire family would be missing out on what we enjoy now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 9:11pm
Where did the relaxed time in the morning that you talked about in the other post suddenly go to.

"He doesn't get into the office until about 9:30/10:00 a.m. each day, so we get him for at least one to one and-a-half relaxed hrs (he's not busy showering, getting ready for work) in the morning."

There is a big difference between "Since I am a SAHM I get no me time" and "I choose to use the time that I could use for me time doing other things". You are choosing to use that time to laundry, you could take that book in the bedroom and read it or go for a walk.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 9:30pm
I get a half hour unpaid (standard around here). Let me assure you, gobbling down your lunch in 15 minutes because you use up 15 minutes walking to and from the cafeteria and waiting in line is not a break. It's a refueling pit stop unless I skip lunch all togetether in order to run an errand. I can always pack my lunch and just never leave my desk I suppose but that's not a break either. Any way you slice it, my lunch breaks are not a break. It's just getting something to eat so I can go right back to work or running to the post office or whatever.

This always cracks me up about a lunch break being a break. It's time to eat. Just like you get time to eat only you can eat when you want and take as long as you want. Now THAT would be a break.

Oh and commuting isn't a break either. That's another one I love.

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