Is is "hard" being a sahm?
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Is is "hard" being a sahm?
| Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm |
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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Ugh, no, I said the situation which you described, of your DH as well as many of your aquantences who don't see their DH until after bedtime was a sad situation.
>>>Now, you are wholly inconsistent in that your criticism apparently lies only against non-military personnel, for some reason.
How so? I described rather clearly that I see a difference between time spent away from family as choice, and time spent away from family that can't be helped. Control & choice...both elements of my post which you're responding to. Additionally, as I stated, I was referring & responding DIRECTLY to YOUR comments about you & your friends situational choice to have a WOH dad who doesn't come home until after bedtime as sad.
>>>Again, you are nonsensical.
Again? Did you already say somewhere in this post that I was being nonsensical? I only see it once.
>>>You just can't have it both ways.
How so? I was clear in my distinction.
>>>In fact, you haven't made any argument why woh long hours is "sad."
Yes, I have. YOU didn't answer the questions I posed, regarding why dad not being home until after bedtime was a sad situation, i.e. husband & wife time, kid & dad time, dad alone time. Simply because you chose not to answer or comment directly on my argument doesn't mean I didn't make one.
>>>The only thing you've done is explain why it doesn't work for your family.
Okay...and? The reason the situation you described wouldn't work for my family is because I value time spent together (this is getting to be like a broken record here...). This is also why I view the situation you described as sad.
>>>If you want to show why it's sad, explain what I, my DH and my children are missing out on because DH works past 9 pm.
How could I when I asked specific questions, and you didn't answer them? I only can go by what you've posted.
>>>You just can't because we miss out on nothing.
No, I just can't, again, because you haven't elaborated on your situation other than to say it isn't sad.
>>>For many reasons, if DH had only a 9-5 job or, yikes wah, our entire family would be missing out on what we enjoy now.
and???
>>Many sahms, like myself, have husbands who aren't home until after bedtime. It's actually common among my friends. Sure, weekends I might take time to myself, but we were discussing lunch hrs and the work week, weren't we? Again, no complaints, no selective memory here. I'm just saying if I had an hr free each day, I'd say sah is easier than woh.<<
But you DO have an hour free each day in the morning don't you? Unless you're sleeping in until 9:30-10am, there's a few hours there where you can do "me-time" things (go to the gym, read the newspaper, grab a coffee, take an am yoga class, watch TV). Can't your DH be with the kids while you do these things?
>>You may disagree being a sahm is harder, but you have to agree sahms of infants/toddlers are never alone for any meaningful amount of time. Wohms have opportunities (however fleeting) to be alone during the day when they don't have to answer to anyone.<<
You COULD be alone for an hour or so each day, couldn't you? Why can't you use this morning time to do something for yourself or (like WOHMs) run errands? I know plenty of grocery stores, dry cleaners, post offices, etc. that are open in the early hours.
I don't necessarily think SAHM or WOHM is "harder" - but I do think you, as a SAHM, have opportunities to do "me time" things and take time out for yourself. If you choose NOT to utilize those opportunities, that's your choice. But that doesn't negate the fact that the option is there.
Carol
I made one post here referring to the fact that my DH (and the DHs of friends) worked long hrs. past the childrens' bedtime. (post #13309.302)
Without more, you responded only, "How sad." (post #13309.315)
Now, several posts later, you want me to answer your questions, expound upon my daily routine, offer info about my schedules so that you can go back and grasp at something (I don't know what you'll find) and explain why you initially alleged my life is "sad." It's called backpedaling, and you don't even do that well.
Again, you are wholly misguided, unconvincing and inconsistent. Perhaps you should just go back to your little world and don't worry so much about others, OK? Thanks for the laughs though.
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