Is is "hard" being a sahm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Is is "hard" being a sahm?
2242
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 6:02am

I don't know what it is that I follow, but I've never had any trouble getting kids to nap at a certain time.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 6:31am
I work for a medium-sized federal agency in the General Counsel's office.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 6:34am
Again then not having time alone is a choice, not something that is impossible. You keep talking about having to take that time at 6:30 yet stated that your DH does not go to work until 10:00. That leaves a 3.5 hour window that you can have some time.

If that would be my absolutely only chance to have alone time during the day then I would take it. Yes, I am selfish enough to put off chores to do something for myself. But then of course that would take away the chance to be a martyr.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 6:39am
Ma'am, would you care to Super-Size?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 6:58am
I had

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 8:08am
"The only way I'd recommend someone give their spouse this book is if they want a divorce. That's quite likely what dh is going to get out of the deal." I'm taking you as serious on this and am indeed sorry to hear it. Although my personal reaction would likely also be bad were my husband to deliver this book to me, I do wonder, though, if there is any way someone can tell their spouse that they aren't getting what they need out of a relationship WITHOUT that message being seen as a personal insult/attack.

Edited to add that I think the title is at least as insulting to men, it's like they're gerbils or something.


Edited 5/13/2004 8:11 am ET ET by cocoapop

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 8:12am
So only wohms get to take a shower in the morning? I have 3 children, and I'm not about to leave them unattended while I shower, do my hair, makeup, etc. and start some of the days chores! You know and I know from reading this board that wohms do the same, and you're not alleging they are martyrs. I just don't understand why you're saying things you know are completely impractical!

You haven't been reading my posts in accusing me of being a martyr. And you're not being truthful if you think any mom can wake up and then immediately grab an hr alone to herself at 6:30 a.m. to drive around town running errands at - what did you say is open at 6:30 a.m.? the post office? ANd you are not being honest if you think that immediately upon waking up in the morning, it is practical for any mom (woh or sah) to leave 3 children (or even a single child) at 6:30 a.m. to grab an hr. to be alone and read a book. It's completely unrealistic, you know this, and I don't know what you're trying to get at.

Clearly, I stated DH must start getting ready at 7:30. Is he not allowed to shower either? Just because his wife sah? You know that you are making absolutely no sense, yet you persist.

Yes, I envy the wohms' lunch break. What's the big deal, where is the martyr syndrome?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 8:25am
Heck, my kid is full grown and I still don't get alone time in the shower. Try telling my two cats that shower time is "me" time; they disagree. Strongly. And one's a Siamese--you do the math on the vocalization that goes on if I dare shut the door against them--even if they aren't in the room, I'm NOT alone during my shower.

and it took a GOOD long time to learn to appreciate the armful of fuzzy fur that launches himself into my arms the very SECOND the shower stops running. Cyduck (the non-Siamese) has never learned to wait for me to get a towel on--I've had to learn to 1) don a towel with the water running, and 2) appreciate kitty-facial pheronomes reapplied liberally all over my face and chest upon emerging from the shower. it's sweet now, but it's DEFINITELY an acquired taste.

Alone?

I think not.

By choice? Absolutely. Totally worth the price and more. Kinda like the lack of me time and alone time I got when my son was little. Inconvenient? Yeah, sure, but it was worth it...and NOT worth being envious of someone else's work (or lack) status and whatever perks come with.

You envy my lunch, but I have no idea why, when you're getting naps.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 8:26am
So carve out an hour of your day. It can be done. You just need to do it. It might cost a few dollars but it can be done.

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 8:30am
Argh! As the saying goes, "I luv ya, honey, but....." That whole being at work while having mono or the flu thing drives me CRAZY!!!!!! Especially respiratory illnesses. I have asthma so when co-workers come in with flu or other respiratory problems, it's freaking dangerous for me...their willingness to "work through the pain" could land me in the hospital.

Sorry, I'm not trying to pick on you specifically, but this is (obviously) a huge pet peeve of mine. (But like I said up top, "i still luv ya!" :)

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