Is is "hard" being a sahm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Is is "hard" being a sahm?
2242
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 9:18am

very *unlike* the WOHMs in this debate, you are saying you don't have the choice of me time. You clearly do. You CHOOSE not to take it.


I've never said I don't have the choice of me time. I do. I choose not to take my lunch hours as me time. But I then don't pout and whine because others DO choose to take it.


Live with your choices. Don't be envious of others who are doing things you *could* but choose not to.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 9:21am

6:40???? Ahhhh, I'd love to get up at 6:40. Instead, I get up at 5:45, so that I can shower and be ready before the kids get up.


BTW, I *choose* to get up then. I could get up at 6:30 and shower while the kids were eating breakfast or such, but I'd rather spend that time with them. I'll live happily with my choice.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 9:24am
Yes, it's so great :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 9:33am

I totally understand the not touching being to close thing.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 9:34am

Oh man that sounds great.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 10:19am
>>>Let's go over the chronology because you're getting yourself confused.

I'm not confused at all.

>>>I made one post here referring to the fact that my DH (and the DHs of friends) worked long hrs. past the childrens' bedtime. (post #13309.302)

Without more, you responded only, "How sad." (post #13309.315)

Correct. Then you said why. Then I responded if I have to respond...yada yada. We can all look back through the chronology of posts.

>>>Now, several posts later, you want me to answer your questions, expound upon my daily routine, offer info about my schedules so that you can go back and grasp at something (I don't know what you'll find) and explain why you initially alleged my life is "sad." It's called backpedaling, and you don't even do that well.

Nope, I asked you questions in post 13309.347 in response to 13309.331. Since you believe I'm just now wanting you to answer questions, I thought I'd clarify that for you...the post was quite some time ago. Here are the questions, if you're interested in answering them: "If a husband isn't home until after bedtime, when does a wife get time with her husband? When do his children get time with their dad? When does dad get time for himself?" I quite clearly explained why I thought a situation like you described was sad. It has nothing to do with backpedaling. You decided not to answer my questions, then claim I know nothing about your life. Go figure.

>>>Again, you are wholly misguided, unconvincing and inconsistent. Perhaps you should just go back to your little world and don't worry so much about others, OK? Thanks for the laughs though.

Not sure why you feel the need to insult me. This is a debate board, and you posted information about your life and experiences, which makes them up for debate. I debated, and you chose not to follow-up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 11:31am
I've been AH for nearly 6 years now.

Why not wake up one hour before everyone else does? I've always been an early riser myself, my SIL with an infant and a toddler at the moment swears by her hour each morning - sipping coffee, reading, internet, bubble bath, etc.

As many others have pointed out, there are several ways for respite if you look for it. If you want it, it's there. Better to really take it for yourself and feel better about SAH... I mean, if you are totally frustrated by SAH, then why do it?

My dh has a lunch hour every day, but I would never say it makes for his workday that much easier. In fact, I've been there for many, many lunches, and to be honest, I think he has it worse, as the Nextel two-way never stops. In a way, his position at work (mgt.) is much like being with children all day long, who need their hand held for every decision. I'd definately say that it's much easier with children, as you can never look your suboridinate co-workers in the eye, and say, "It's quiet time - here is something to occupy yourself with for fifteen minutes," as profit is always on the line!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 11:32am
It takes your husband 2-2.5 hours to get ready in the morning?!?!? You very clearly stated that your husband does not go to work before 9:30 or 10 am. Who on earth needs 2.5 hours to get ready in the morning? I am up, showered, dressed, had breakfast and have the kids awake in less than an hour. Maybe your dh needs to cut down his morning routine to a mere 1.5 hours....then you could wake up at 6:30, get yourself showered and dressed in about an hour and actually have an hour to yourself between 7:30 and 8:30 while dh watches the kids (and then he would still have time to get ready). You might not be able to run errands then, but you most certainly could use the time for yourself and your interests. I'm sorry but taking 2.5 hours to get ready in the morning positively boggles my mind.

" ANd you are not being honest if you think that immediately upon waking up in the morning, it is practical for any mom (woh or sah) to leave 3 children (or even a single child) at 6:30 a.m. to grab an hr. to be alone and read a book. It's completely unrealistic, you know this, and I don't know what you're trying to get at. "

Unrealistic?? Why? When I was SAH, dh always got up in the mornings with the kids (they usually woke up around 6:30) and took care of them on his own until about 7:30 or 8 when he had to start getting ready for work (and he usually was at work by 8:30 or 9). That time between 6:30 and 8 was mine to do with as I pleased: sometimes I slept in when I had had a bad night with the kids, sometimes I read a book in peace and quiet, sometimes I took a shower (I often opted to shower in the evening when the kids were very little). I had years of that quiet time in the morning to myself and whether I chose to sleep, read, shower or just hang out in bed it was a peaceful "me" time that I enjoyed very much.

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 11:36am
What is it about Siamese??? Both Derval and Jussi sit right outside the shower every morning and then beg for petting even when I'm soaking wet. The kids do a better job of leaving me in peace on the toilet than the cats do...is this something genetic? Btw, Jussi (the Siamese) is the quietest cat I have ever had: he talks maybe once or twice a day tops, have you ever heard of a quiet Siamese?


Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 11:50am
Are you trying to say that you don't find polictically incorrect bullsh*t any more distastefull than politically correct bullsh*t? You don't think the holier-than-thou-this--is-what-I-think-Im-inflicting-my-vies-on-millions-of-people-who-will-probably-listen-to-me-without-thinking are worse when they the cr*p hasn't passed some politically correct criteria first, than when it has?

In which case I agree with you. Being as the bullsh*t which has passed the politically correct cr*p test is not therefore less likely to include complete garbage, but rather is now absolutely guaranteed to include a good lot of it.

If its controversial that means society as a whole is not swallowing it hook line and sinker. Someone is paying attention and publically considering and analyzing the information so that people who can't think for themselves, can follow someone else who can. Its the non-controversial stuff you really want to keep an eye on. Those who can't think for themselves are screwed.



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