Is is "hard" being a sahm?
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Is is "hard" being a sahm?
| Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm |
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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<<the point im making here is instead of beating each other up,arent we supposed to be lifting each other up?>>
Umm
Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.
Just for the record, I am currently SAH and I have also WOH so I have perspective on both. Having a lunch time was rarely a leisurely event for me when I worked. I usually was running around trying to run errands. I also frequently had lunch meetings which meant eating on the run.
It is much easier to carve out some time for myself as a SAHM than it ever was as a WOHM. If you are feeling that you are missing that part of your life then you should make time for yourself. You are worth it. But if you CHOOSE not to don't blame being a SAHM for it. Blame yourself.
Jenna
Her name is Dorie, and she's seven months old. I think this fall when my baby starts school, I'm thinking of getting another one, LOL!
Dh says buying that book was the stupidest thing he's done in his life and he's right. He tells me he just wants respect but now realizes he hasn't done anything to deserve it. He's right there too. Unfortunately, some things can't be taken back and this is one of them. If that's what he thinks of me, he might as well leave. My kids don't need to see me married to a man who thinks I should be a subserviant little wimpette who caters to him whether he deserves it or not. I did get a kick out of telling him "OK, I'll quit my job today and stay home to take care of you!". You should have seen him stammer on that one. I out earn him by about 30K and I'm the one with the bennies. I figure the only reason he's going to the lengths he is to try and save our marriage is he doesn't want to face the financial repercushions of a divorce. He's already told me what he really thinks of me and it wasn't much.
The way to tell your spouse you're not getting what you need out of a relationship is with honey, not vinegar. In times past, if I wanted more attention from dh, I'd hire a sitter and make a date. I'd make a special dinner. I'd rent a movie he wanted to see knowing full well I'd be sitting through one I wastn't that interested in. I wonder what his reaction would have been if I had bought him the book "The proper care and feeding of wives"? I'll bet it would have been bad. The problem with this book is that it's one way The message dh delivered was it's all about him. To hell with me. I'm just here to make him happy and I'm failing at that. All I can say is he can start looking for his next wife any time now.
Edited 5/13/2004 4:15 pm ET ET by ahlmommy
My best wishes are with you and your children.
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