Is is "hard" being a sahm?
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Is is "hard" being a sahm?
| Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm |
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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Well that's the problem.. in order for the book to work, you have to start with a good man.
I have always found it puzzling that in a dual working household the WOHPs can work all day and still take care of their children but if there is a SAHP then suddenly taking care of the kids is too much work for the WOHP.
What about joining a gym that has babysitting? How about hiring a babysitter once a week during the day? Lots of college students love this kind of work on days they don;t have class.
My point is that your "no time for lunch and me" scenario is a choice you are making. If you really wanted some time to yourself, you could find a way. You just choose not to.
Susan
OK, I'm beginning to think this board puts a hex on people. Kristi, IIMA, Me, ECSM, and now you.
Hugs and best wishes. IM me anytime you want to talk ... savcal@hotmail.com
Hollie
http://attach.prospero.com/n/docs/docDownload.aspx?guid=7E117344-D332-46AD-A2B2-30B19FAEACCF&webtag=iv-pssahwoh
Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.
I think the whole thing is a choice. I have been at home going on 5 years now and have two children. I just recently started getting a little restless. When I was a newer mom I never understood how some women seemed so unhappy at home and I didn't much care for the complaining about their dh's either. That is why I quit the playgroups I use to attend. I had a very active career before having my children and frankly I *appreciated* not having deadlines to meet, places I had to be at a certain time, and lines I had to tow.
I think women can fall into a couple of categories. Those that have active careers and can't stand to give them up so they are unhappy at home, those that have active careers and so deeply appreciate the time off they love staying at home, and those that never had very active or stressful careers so they neither appreciate the time off nor feel they want to go back to work and just wallow in a state of discontent.
Even if you appreciate being home, there is still a danger of having things get hum-drum *if you let it*. Just recently I felt this about my situation and was distressed because I have always loved staying home. I talked to my dh and now we have decided to change things at home a bit. Dh now cooks and does to the dishes and I now mow the lawn and do other outside jobs. On the weekends dh works in the morning putting together wood projects and in the afternoons I sand and stain them. Also I typically would wait for my dh to join us when going to the zoo, aquarium, theme parks, and other places that require more money. I felt it was only fair to have him involved in those type of outings. Now I have decided if it's a nice day we will go and do it and my dh understands completely. I was thinking of getting a job before this, but making those small changes has made the difference for me and I no longer feel the need to do that.
Of course not everyone can do those types of things for lack of money to do them. It is harder IMO to stay home when you are doing so and have to sacrifice budget-wise in order to do it and are limited in what kind of activities you can participate in.
I don't see you as the type to get bored with staying home. Indeed you seem like the type of person that finds alternatives to boredom. As long as you continue to be that way I am sure you can stay home as long as you want without morphing into a complaining, dh hating, sahm. WOHM can turn into the same thing. It's just really a choice of what kind of person you want to be and your ability to recognize when you need a change and implement the change before you become someone you don't want to be. Sah or woh is as hard as you make it imo.
If you want hand-holding playgroupy-support of the KumBayAh variety, there are many playgroups on ivillage to fill that need.
Here, we debate.
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