Is is "hard" being a sahm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Is is "hard" being a sahm?
2242
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 8:10pm
OOOOOOR, as my kids did when they were 3&4, they can wait for mommy to fall asleep and get up and play!!! LOL. yup, those little stinkers.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 8:17pm
I would be the exception. well actually, i was working pt when ds2 started school, but we held him out an extra year, and paid for him to attend preschool that year allowing him a little more time to mature. best thing we ever did. i never regretted it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 8:24pm
Oh no, hollie. they have to be *far* away. just because they have jobs means nothing. we sent ours to the amusement park last summer. they left at around 11am and said they would be home for dinner around 5pm. soooooo, dh and i decided to have "lunch" in the den. dh didnt think we should lock the front door, but i felt better about locking it. good thing. 2pm in the afternoon, a key in the door!!!! OMG!!! we left clothes behind and everything. we hear the kids come in and my dd starts giggling. dh told her we must have dropped the laundry when we were folding it. talk about HILARIOUS!!! We're 47yo!! for gosh sakes, and still have to be careful!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 8:37pm
She lives in the CT suburbs of NYC. I can assure you there are more than gas stations open at night. When I lived in CT, there wasn't much open at night, but in the next town over, a mere 15 minute drive, there is a 24 hour WalMart.

Susan

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 9:04pm
I have followed this thread from day one, but didn't add because I couldn't find the right words for it. You did a great job in your post!! It is all a choice, the circumstances at home CAN be challenging or "hard" but it all boils down to personality, personal drive, discipline, and emotional threshold (what we are able to tolerate/accept). And that applies to those who work as well...

good post!

Jen

Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 9:24pm
I am going to go through the threads and catch up....because I only caught this one. I bought that book and I loved it. I wanted to read what she said. I didn't take it as being a wimp or being subserviant to my husband at all. Whatever he said to you that was hurtful to you is just wrong. No one deserves to be treated with no respect...especially from their spouse. I bought the book for myself...DH had no idea that I bought it or that it existed. BTW...Her next book is Proper Care and Feeding of Wives. Good Luck to you.
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 9:31pm
That is a broad question so I will try to answer in the many ways it could be answered. I was a manager/hair designer of a day spa/salon.

If you were asking what I did at home....then...on the days that I got off at 5pm I would go to the grocery store that was across the street from my child's DC and do my shopping, my house was MUCH cleaner with no one home, I took her to school on the way to work and she roade a bus to after school care. On my weekday off (I was a single parent) when she was in DC I would take her for a half day so I could go to the dentist, doctor appts, clean our house, do laundry, etc. When she was in school I had an entire day to do those things plus I had time for myself. I had a lot more freedom when I WOH. This is just my experience...doesn't mean it is everyone elses.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 10:08pm
They do not have to be far away but you do have to be absolutly sure that they are not coming home. We were so glad when DD1 got her drivers licence so that she could drive herself and her sisters places and even more happy when DD3 started middle school so that she could go to youth group with her sisters. We really looked forward to Wednesdays nights and having the house to ourselves. That was until one night about 15 mintues after leaving they returned home because youth group was canceled that evening.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 5:30am
For the last few months, I've been able to get up an hr earlier than everybody else in the house and I agree it's a great time to settle in and unwind before the day begins. I'm usually here reading and posting and drinking coffee. I sure do like the bubble bath idea, but I think I'm too addicted to this board for the moment.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 5:55am
I wish I could find my original post here about this lunch hr. debacle and show you. I would never, ever claim that woh is easy, nor that it's easier than sah. In my OP, I said only that if I had a child-free lunch hr everyday, then I would without any hesitation state FTR that SAH is EASIER than woh. That was the original question.

That's a big difference from what you're saying! Once upon a time, I worked and I recall that lunch hr. and I miss it! Can't I dream? Some days I couldn't get lunch. Some days I'd shop for 2 hrs. Some days, I'd only have time to run downstairs, stand on line with other adults, not worry that my 3 were going to run away from the line with some puppet-weilding child pornographer, and then order what I liked. Then I could eat it at my desk without 6 little grubby hands reaching for a piece!

I don't understand why my revery get so blown out of proportion and was taken the wrong way. I am very careful with my words and I've been posting for a while. And of course I know that not all workers get a full lunch hr out of the office, and some get no lunch break at all. Contrary to what you think, I am not a complete idiot.

I know I love being home with my children, and I have a life that is better than even I dreamt of. TRust me. But I am never going to come here and brag. And I don't understand why my pointing out the negatives of sah practically escalated into diagnoses of post-partum depression! (again a hyperbole for effect - we've all got to laugh at this thread, right?) Sorry for the confusion, Hollie. I'm going into lurk mode for a looong time, OK for a day, and figure out why I was so misunderstood, esp. by kgalligan. I apologize for being imprecise with diction.

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