Is is "hard" being a sahm?
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Is is "hard" being a sahm?
| Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm |
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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I'm not grimalkinskeeper, but my perspective on your questions are this:
1).
PumpkinAngel
My take is if things need to be improved than WE need to do it not ME. It's my my fault alone if things aren't what he wants them to be and not my responsiblity alone to make it happen FOR HIM!! I find the notion that the woman bears the responsibility for the happiness of the marriage/her dh out dated and repulsive. This is a throw back to the days when women weren't considered people. Marriage should be a two way street. Yup, I expect something in return. Why wouldn't I? If I get nothing out of this relationship, why bother? I and my marriage are not about making dh happy. Don't get me wrong. That's not to say I don't do things just to be nice but I EXPECT the same from dh. I'm not going to sit around and play how to make his life happier expecting nothing in return. Anyone who suggests I should doesn't think much of women.
PumpkinAngel
While I agree with you that we should do things for our spouses from our hearts, not in an effort to 'get' them to do something for us. . .or because we can then expect them to do something for us, there is a point where all give and no get sucks.
I do things for my husband that make him happy. . .because I want to, not because in doing so I can then expect something from him in return. . .but you better believe if I never got anything in return I'd want to do a whole lot less.
Virgo
I wish we could ask the dh in this situation the same 2 questions you just posed.
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