Is is "hard" being a sahm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Is is "hard" being a sahm?
2242
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 2:56pm
I don't understand your view of men.

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Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 3:23pm

He must have been really unhappy with the marriage.


I can

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 3:25pm
Maybe he does stuff that he thinks will make her happy, but doesn't. Sometimes, people are just kinda clueless. Couples councelling can help a lot with that.
Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 3:26pm
You said it, Virgo!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 3:29pm
I agree with you.
Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 3:40pm
Because, according to Laura S., it is the WOMAN's responsiblity. Note, she wrote the proper care and feeding of husbands not the proper care and feeing of wives. It's the old attitude that it must be the woman's fault.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 3:41pm
"The book assumes that the man is already giving and the woman is not." Yes, and that is what is WRONG with the book. It ASSumes the man is giving because we all know it can't he HIS fault things aren't to his liking, it MUST BE HERS!!!! ROTFLMAO. Don't you get that that IS what is wrong with the book??
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 3:43pm
It is when you're being told to do it! Doing things because you want to is one thing. Doing them because the woman is supposed to is being a subservient little wimpette.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 3:47pm

But but but...some men don't know how to ask. Some have been trained to believe "If you loved me, you wouldn't have to ask". Some people simply aren't good at reading signals.


Did you ever see "The Good Girl?" Jennifer Aniston's character spends the whole movie agonizing over how unhappy she is in her marriage, and then is shocked to discover that her husband is sad and lonely too.


Sometimes, relationships fall into what a friend of mine calls the "Volcano Goddess" syndrome - one partner works really hard at making the relationship work, then is furious to find out the other partner isn't happy. "Look at everything I'm doing here - how DARE you be unhappy!!!" I'm getting a lot of this vibe out of this thread.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 3:50pm
Sure. Of course, i told my dh what i would have liked for my b-day (scrapbook store gift certificate or a paid scrapbook weekend) and he got me what HE wanted -- a laptop computer so that he can talk to the "B" on the nights he has alyssa...

OR maybe her dh just doesn't do ANY stuff for her.

eileen

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