Is is "hard" being a sahm?
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Is is "hard" being a sahm?
| Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:25pm |
For many years now, I have heard the claim that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world. I never chimed in, because I didn't know first hand. I stayed home for 6 weeks when my twin daughters, Sophia and Stephanie (almost 4) were born. And that was hard, because I had 2 newborns. Now, almost 4 years later, I have resigned my job and am staying home again. I can god-honestly say that I don't know what's so hard about this. I personally feel like I am on easy street, but maybe that's because I haven't been at it that long. I feel like I am on vacation. It takes no longer than a couple hours a day to do the housework, and the rest of the time is free time for me and the girls. We have gone to the park, the zoo, chuck e cheeses, and I know not every day is going to be like this, but I feel like I am making up for lost time. My children seem happy and relaxed. The only hard thing about this is that they have gotten into some pretty raging fights with each other, but the fights have ended with quick intervention. I guess I am just wondering how long before this becomes "The hardest job in the world" and I start looking like a zombie, complaining that my husband doesn't help me, and so on? Or do I seriously have the choice not to turn into that? Also, do you think that at the rate I am going, I am at risk for getting bored staying home?

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But isn't your ex happy with his new gf? Maybe he is, maybe he isn't, but who is the one in the relationship that decided he needed fixing to begin with?
It is certainly possible to be unhappy in a relationship and not need to "fix" yourself. Some relationships are just bad relationships. The relationship can be broken without the individual partners being broken.
I guess it hasn't occured to you yet that you may have misinterpreted the message.
Maybe you didn't, and your dh is just a jerk who thinks the world should revolve around him.
Or maybe he's just really unhappy and feeling lonely and unimportant.
I don't know if they are happy. I really don't care as its none of my business.
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Yes, but that's not the case here. MAny of the things he mentioned during our counseling sessions had nothing to do with our relationship and everything to do with him. he talked about not having "friends" other than me. He talked about not feeling satisfied in his job. He talked about not having a close colleague to talk "work stuff" with. Add in his very underexpressed feelings about his dad's mental condition (which is genetic and hereditary) and you've got someone that needs to deal with his own problems.
Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.
Maybe I should check dh's email just to be sure.... Might get me the kick in the pants I need. I hate the idea that dh is going to claim he doesn't want a divorce and that makes me the bad guy WRT the kids. I am starting to wonder though. Sometimes, attacking a spouse like this is done out of guilt. Affairs are easier to justify if your spouse isn't meeting your needs, aren't they?
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